The Introverted Product Manager

I don’t think, when we go to squeeze yet another meeting into someone’s work diary, we ever consider whether shoehorning it into their last half hour slot of free time might be just a step too far for that person. Or maybe we do, but the demands of the job, and the fact that we are at work to work, roughly from 9–5, mean that work needs seem to trump the desire for a day that doesn’t leave you wanting to crawl up into a ball and hide under your desk.

While I understand that we can’t always prioritise a quieter day over various deadlines and demands on us, I do want to spare a moment to think about the impact that it might have. I even want to suggest that perhaps we should all be thinking about the impact of scheduling that meeting that, perhaps, you might not absolutely need.

As you may know, I started a new role at OVO Energy two weeks ago. I must say, I’m loving it. That said, it’s been a big adjustment. Going from a working day where I’d have one stand-up and maybe one other meeting (but often not) a day, to one where I’m in back-to-back meetings for the majority of the day, feels like being thrown into the middle of a bustling fresher’s week (though less trying to make out with people on the dancefloor), and, what’s more, you’re an introvert. I must say, after my first two weeks on the new job, I felt about as exhausted as I did after fresher’s week — and that’s without all the booze!

I guess I am an introvert. An extroverted introvert, mind. I’m often one to pipe up with a silly comment or to want to tell everyone about what I’m up to on the weekend, when our manager asks. I’m not especially quiet in meetings. I like the fun and the banter, but also the intellectual gratification, that can come from working together with others, online or in person. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exhaust me; it definitely does.

I have friends for whom a full day of meetings is more appealing to them than slice of Nutella on toast (madness). Meanwhile, my personal mecca is a day of fiddling with a spreadsheet on my own and then writing some emails, with a few lively Slack conversations thrown in the mix. Oh and you can put a meeting in there if you like. Everyone is different.

Knowing this, and feeling my exhaustion as I did on Saturday afternoon after two weeks in the job (when it truly hit me), is all well and good but it doesn’t change anything. What I want to know is, what do I, or we, do about it? What I want is a working week that doesn’t leave me totally shagged at the end of it (even though I appreciate that some of the strain has come from the extra mental load of this being a brand new role in a new company). But, for that to happen, I need to change something, while also being great and efficient at doing my job.

I could use lots of time protecting techniques, such as blocking out parts of my diary in advance to preserve that sacred alone time. I could also push back a little more on meeting invites that come in: do we really need to have this meeting as soon as tomorrow, when I’m already slammed? Could we be doing this on Monday instead, when both of us have a little more space in our diaries? Or having “optional” meetings, that I am free to drop into or cancel as needed. Urgent or time sensitive projects and issues not withstanding, I don’t think anyone is going to mind any of these.

I suppose it is up to the individual as to whether you want to be honest about the reason for asking to spread meetings out more or restricting the times that people can put meetings in your diary (as well as restricting yourself; I am the worst culprit for overloading my own diary due to the imaginary urgency my clever brain can create).

That said, I do believe that the thing we need most, as introverts working in an extroverts’ world, is to be honest about the “why”.

Firstly, understanding our colleagues’ and team’s ways of working is crucial, not only to get the best out of each other, but also if you care in any way about their wellbeing. Secondly, if we want to forge a space for us introverts in a world that does seem to assume that every single person is able to spend all day talking (and not about light-hearted topics often) and not want to find a small, dark cupboard and shelter in it by the time that 3pm rolls around, then we need to start making ourselves and our needs known. We aren’t the minority, even if the world seems to favour loudness, and the more we shout about our ways of working and our preferences, the more that others will come to understand that perhaps we need to take a more balanced approach to how we plan our working day. One that considers the needs of the the team as a whole.

It’s no one’s fault. I can’t conceive of how an extrovert could possibly gain energy by spending all day being around other people, so I’m sure they can’t understand my deep yearning for silence and alone time.

These busy work days haven’t arisen because our teams and managers don’t care about us. They are born out of an ever growing prioritisation of speed in our modern, tech-driven, accessible all hours of the day society. If we can ram every minute of our day full of “productive action” in the name of getting shit done (if your meetings are productive, that is), then why wouldn’t we.

But I’m sure, if we were to be honest about why we’re asking to move that meeting by a day or two, our teammates would be more than understanding. Because, while it is our job to care for ourselves, good teams also care for each other.

So, protect your time and your energy. But above all, be honest with it.