I’m Stumped
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I’m Stumped

“Click the button that says ‘use computer audio’”

Here’s my suggestion if, after tonight, there is still someone who thinks we need 2 more debates. One word, a word you all know all too well by now: Zoom. What could be more 2020?

Each candidate should go to the home of a voter that supports them. They should have to use that family’s zoom setup, background etc just as they find it so it has that authentic look we all know. Weird too low camera angle that seems to feature one’s neck, something embarrassing accidentally left on a shelf in the background, lighting that seems to be both too bright and too dark at the same time, unstable wifi connection, a cat periodically wondering in front of the camera, a young family member screaming in the background. It would be great.

But here’s the biggest plus. The moderator has exclusive control over the mute button. The second someone’s time is up, they go on mute and the other person stays on mute while their opponent is talking. Both are muted while the moderator is talking.

Then we could add one more person to our zoom screen who would be a fact checker. The debate would be broken into quarters and at the end of each quarter, both candidates would be muted and the fact checker would come on to explain how both candidates did during that last quarter. And just to be fair, each candidate would get 1 minute to respond.

Finally, a panel of actual Judges give each candidate a point every time they answered the question asked (regardless of how good the answer was) and deducted a point every time one of the candidates said something about the other that would not be tolerated in a Courtroom. No chance either candidate would have a positive score.

Unless something like this happens (and let’s be honest, this makes way too much sense to even be considered by the parties), I can assure you I will not watch another second of the remaining debates live.

These are a colossal waste of time.


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Joshua Stump

I am a Dad, a husband, a son, a brother, a follower of Jesus, a lawyer, a songwriter, and just generally someone with a lot of strong opinions about stuff.