Mindsets: Warrior vs Victim
Guest Post by Imagine Fellow Ahmed Ramy
Hi there, I’m Ahmed!
Today I decided to write something about Mindsets. They are powerful mental tools to take work inside your head and shape your life
Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your life.
— Mahatma Gandhi
One of the things I was really lucky to learn early on in my life, is to never think that I am helpless. I’ve learned that from my younger brother, who happens to be born with a disability from walking, and the amount of dedication and fighting in his character that our father put in him is amazing.
You’re never helpless, never.
The moment you realize this or adopt that thinking or Mindset (which is the point of this blog), is when you turn from a victim to a Warrior.
Today I really want to help my younger, less experienced friends and pals in adopting this in life, work, college, and basically every aspect of your life. I warn you: The moment you reject this is the moment you risk turning into a victim.
Mindsets Comparison
Here are some exemplary beliefs to avoid and to choose.
Victim
- I am helpless, hence, there is nothing I can do.
- Excuses are the way to avoid uneasy situations
- Being assertive is too shying
- Saying No to a requirement is definitely too much risk, even If at the cost of my health and sleep
- The client says that, it doesn’t make any sense, but who am I to challenge the thinking, he pays after all, so why bother?
Warrior
- I messed up, I’ll surely find a way to get things together
- I had an accident, this is not your fault, it’s me who should’ve been careful
- It will be done, no promises from me, just facts, and let the results do the talking
- Believing saying No may hurt some relations, but hurting relations over being transparent is a no brainer
- If something is not realistic or doesn’t make sense, then this must be challenged
Analysis
The victim hates responsibilities, hates to see that they are to blame, and once you blame them, the survival mechanics inside his head triggers, and become all defensive of a sudden
Notice the honesty and clearance of why saying no is allowable from a non-victim Mindset, while in a victim Mindset, there is fear that is blinding you off what is possible
Thought Process
Scenario: You had agreed on taking a contract-based Job, you messed up
Victim
‘Look man, I did my best, ok? I’ve been through a lot this month, and finding time for the project (can’t tell him I was on Fornite all week long) was just not possible’
Warrior
‘I apologize for not meeting the deadline, that’s a clear sign that my time management needs improvement, that’s not your problem, so here is a refund + more money for the time wasted, please keep the work if you want and If you decide to continue with me and give me another chance, I will nail it, if not and someone else took over, let me know, I’ll hand it over, and after that my responsibility is done with you’
Analysis
Nobody likes whining in business. Get shit done, or simply don’t commit, if you mess up, own your mess, else leave
Do you think who’s getting another chance? Definitely, someone who owns his life.
Actions
Victim
- Maaaan, I can’t believe my employer doesn’t pay for my education
- Am sure my client won’t mind me reusing some code from that project, after all, it’s not like am copying the whole business logic
- Tries real hard to give extra buffer when estimating tasks (Not to take his time, but rather, be sure that he won’t make another mess)
- Brags and uses shows-off to cover for his lacks, and when the hammer hits the nail, turns back to good ol’ strategy of spray & pray countless excuses
Warrior
- “Hi John (The Manager), I may need to leave early as I need to attend a boot camp and they moved the meeting to a sooner date, I just wanna check if I can leave early today or should I tell them we need to stick or reschedule to another date?”
- “Hi Alan, sorry to reach out of the blue, I’ll be quick, there happen to be some part of the older project that’s related to [Feature Specification] that I happen to need something from, this `something` does A which I need for B in my current project, do I have permission to reuse that?”
- “I think this might take me 2 days, but, as there is some ambiguity in …[Specifies the ambiguity], hence I think this might take 2 days, along with the Testing buffer”
- “My Opinions are not always right, not always perfect, and them working for me doesn’t say they’re a Silver Bullet in your case, nor in my case, with that said, I hope this content be of value to whoever reads it.”
Analysis
Not only do ‘Victims’ think your employer is some kind of a ‘father figure’. Spoilers…he’s not, you’re responsible for your career On the other hand…
The Warrior…
- Owns his career development, invested in himself to become better, and was transparent till the very end
- A need to reuse a code is always there for us, developers, but asking someone’s permission to use ‘His’ code and parts of ‘His’ project that he paid for, and leave the option for him to agree or not, is ‘Transparency’, which is always better than, ‘quietly’ borrowing some couple of lines and no one would bother.
- Not afraid to say he doesn’t know, and specifically (or even vaguely) sharing his concerns about what he doesn’t know, hence communicating and possibly getting someone to help during the planning meeting or a 1–1 after it.
- Disclaiming that you’re some kind of a know-it-all, that you’re a guru or a ninja, (or probably somewhere between those lines), gives more credibility, because guess what? that’s humane, and humans, are awesome at making mistakes, some are costly, some are cheap or even free, but they’re lessons for us to improve, and deeming yourself outside the circle of what is normal, deems you as suspicious or not trustworthy
Keyword here is `Transparency`, and that goes far beyond any boasting, or excusing, or a combination of both
Habits
Victim
- Quick to give up.
- Others are always to blame, if no one, then, the course of events is the prime suspect here.
- Depression is frequent and the helplessness blocks any route to getting out of it
- Lie to themselves than to others that the fault is not their (Believes his own lie)
- No Discipline or Self-control
- Debts that can’t be paid are habits, and excuses are the weapon
- Resolute every year with countless goals
Warrior
- Success is inevitable, Just gotta keep pushing beyond failures
- Own their mess and shortcomings
- Depression is dealt with as hard times, and they will fix it
- Honest with themselves and have a clear image of where they come short
- Disciplined
- Debt is a lie, if you want something, save and buy it, work till you can afford it, if not, then adding a liability is a bad idea
- Resolute with a clear system
- Reads and remind themselves of how unaware they’re
Conclusion
The road ahead is long and unforgiving, no place for a boy, you must become a
Warrior
Do not be Sorry, be Better…
These two sentences should be what you remember of this post
And the keyword here is…
I'll be better
And always remember
No Excuses…
Where to go from here?
I have a book I can recommend for this topic. It’s called Can’t Hurt Me, I actually haven’t read it yet, but I am in the process and lots of it inspired this blog, hopefully, you find it helpful as much (or more than) as I found it to be 😊
Ahmed Ramy
