IMOGENE’S NOTEBOOK
Never Enough
A poem
I want to be the women
whose houseplants are thick with life.
Who can run a mile
without her lungs tearing down
to keep her oxygenated.
Who looks fresh
like dew-kissed tea roses,
and smells of orchid,
lilac, honey and white musk;
at all times.
Whose voice is calm
and steady, like the banyan tree
underneath which
she read plenty of poetry.
Whose house is neat,
free from dust, dirty dishes,
or yesterday’s laundry.
And never reeks of garlic, sweat,
tears or neglect.
Who eyes catch the light
and see the best.
Whose smile reaches
her eyes, like the river touches
the ocean after travelling
a long way from home.
But I am the woman
who is none of these, and I fear
I will never be.
At my very best, sometimes,
I am one of the things
I aspire to be.
I siphon off my life
working with people who love
to talk about themselves,
and who do not see
beyond their shadow’s length.
No, I won’t quit.
It’s pure give-and-take.
Besides, I know,
how badly we need the money.
I milk the best of me
to nurse a sullen, sick mother-in-law
who wrung herself out
throughout her youth and middle life
to be everything to her family.
And now she is perpetually parched,
has nothing to give
and is too desiccated to absorb
any care we offer.
I stand by a husband
who keeps himself last. Always.
Who works like a beast
and smiles like a well-fed child.
He needs nothing,
except peace between us,
to rest his head on the lumpy pillow
knowing all is well for now
or will be soon.
So, I let my guts twist and shrink,
to make room for the lies,
and make-believes.
I’m burning, baby! And I hate it here!
I won’t ever say what I mean.
But sure, I can strap on a smile for you!
Yes, my darling,
I will close my tired eyes
as the dust settles
and my hands are too stiff
to clean the mess
we never make but always live in.
Yes, I know you would help
if only you knew
where that goddamn mop is!
Unpaid work is work that produces goods and services but doesn’t involve any direct payment. This includes housework and care work. According to an SBI report, women’s unpaid work contributes around 7.5% to India’s GDP.
In lower- and middle-class double-income Indian families, women do double duty as working professionals and primary homemakers, providing elderly and child care.
Creating more professional opportunities for women without addressing the unfair distribution of household chores and caretaking responsibilities in the family is not liberating women. It is making them sick.
Thank you for reading!
© 2nd March 2024. All Rights Reserved. Anushree Bose
