STARTING YOUR START-UP: THE FRINGE BENEFITS OF FAILURE

My husband, Michael and I were finishing up our lunch at a local Chinese restaurant when our waiter appeared with the check and two fortune cookies. We like reading and sharing the small strips of paper embedded in the cookies more than the cookies themselves. Usually, we laugh at how inaccurate our “fortunes” are. That particular day, I was struck by my “fortune” because I was working on this story at the time. It said, “Failure is the virtual way to prepare you for great responsibilities.”

I’ve been struggling with mentally processing some recent failures, spiritually, personally, and professionally for several months. While there are some physical manifestations of failure — everything from a mountain of debt to a negative impact on your health, it’s really a spiritual and mental battle.

Recently, I started making a list of the fringe benefits of failure. After months of hosting my own pity-party, I’ve started to embrace the unexpected rewards of utterly failing at something you’ve put your heart, energy, hopes, dreams, time and resources into only to have it implode leaving you pierced from head to toe with the shrapnel of self-doubt and let’s face it, the violent body blows to your pride.

Most of that soul-piercing self-doubt after a catastrophic failure can’t be easily removed, even with time or eventual success, but one of the benefits of failure is that you can learn to live with it and use it to propel you forward.

When you have a foreign object in your body, a protective capsule forms around it so that it will not migrate to other locations or spread infection. I created a protective capsule around the pain and embarrassment of my recent failures in order to protect my broken heart and to keep my spirit from being infected with defeat.

One of the ways I’ve done this is by focusing on all of the benefits that have come about as a result of not getting what I thought I wanted. Here’s my list of the fringe benefits of failure. Feel free to learn from my mistakes, and then make a list of your own, because if you’re starting up a start-up, you’re going to need it!

THE FRINGE BENEFITS OF FAILURE:

• Connecting to a mentor — This is most important when your mental GPS system has failed and you’re driving blind, but just like any system, you have to use it for it to be effective.
• Preserve — If you wear your failure like an open wound, you’re bound to run into someone with a box of salt. Patch yourself up and fearlessly move forward.
• Wisdom — Anyone who has failed miserably is only successful if they have enough compassion to share what they did wrong with someone who is travelling the same pot-hole filled path. Leave yourself open to those who have gained wisdom from their own failures and who are generous enough to share their experiences with you.
• Freedom — If you dwell on your mistakes, you are a prisoner of the past. If you dwell on your success, you lack the momentum to tackle the challenges in your future.
• Contentment — How you cope with failure or success is directly related to your level of spiritual personal contentment. It can not be measured in monetary terms, it’s based on the condition of your spirit.
• Endurance — Endurance in this context means stepping into not away from your trials.
• Preparation — Failure is the virtual way to prepare you for great responsibilities.
• Empowerment — If you are a person of faith, God empowers His plans. If all of your efforts continue to fail, maybe your plans aren’t His plans for you.