Complaints are powerful gifts, and here’s how to benefit from them
Gas prices. The housing market. Long lines. Traffic. Slow walkers. Groups of people taking up all the space walking on the sidewalk. There’s plenty to complain about, but what do complaints really do? Other then releasing the aggravation that might come from complaining, there’s not much benefit from ranting about something we cannot control.
Complaints are powerful gifts, if we choose to unwrap them.
Underneath every complaint is an insight about ourselves. We can learn what matters to us. We can discover a change we hope to see. We can be inspired to act.
Don’t just stop at the complain though. That’s like getting a present and then refusing to open it.
Next time you find yourself complaining about something, open up the gift. You can do that by following these three words…
Say “yes, and”
Acknowledge your complaint. Acknowledge the thing that bothers you. Ask yourself why this is something you’re complaining about, why does it matter so much to you?
And then, do something about it. Make a change. Do something within your control that alleviates the need to complain.
Bonus points if you also find the funny in what you’re complaining about.
For instance, though I rarely use it, I have complained about the grocery delivery orders when the shoppers get my order wrong. I once received a 5 lb bag of carrots when I ordered a 1 lb bag. I ordered kabocha squash and I got buttercup squash. I got a huge bag of yellow brussel sprouts (newsflash, brussel sprouts are supposed to be green). Buried within my complaint are the gifts of awareness of how I value accuracy and quality, recognition that grocery delivery is flawed, understanding that what I consider an edible fresh brussel sprout might be different than what someone else considers quality, and learning that if I want items that I would pick out then I need to be the one to pick them out. Plus, since I received 3 squashes I didn’t ask for I had extra that I could give to a friend (some complaints come with literal gifts in addition to the metaphorical ones :)
And let me tell you, there’s so much humor in grocery delivery mishaps. When I saw the 5 lb bag of carrots I burst out laughing and wondered where I could find some bunnies or a pen of ponies to feed some of these too. I couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the huge bag of yellow brussel sprouts. Sometimes the things we see as ridiculous and obvious, when not shared by others, can be quite humorous, if we allow it to be! Fortunately, I’m able to laugh about this, request refunds when appropriate, and move forward with my day.
You, too, can find these gifts in each and every complaint. Just say “yes, and” unwrap them.
Here’s to coming away from complaining with powerful gifts and even some laughs.
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