When the World has You Feeling Down, Say “Yes, And"
These days/months/years it has been very difficult to escape learning about what’s happening around the world — the good, bad and ugly — and mostly the bad and ugly, because, let’s face it, those are the stories that get eyeballs and paying advertisers love eyeballs. Reading about deaths from a global pandemic, school shootings, policy decisions you don’t agree with, wars, and global hardships can be disheartening, devastating, and heartbreaking. I’ve felt it among many, many others also feeling broken hearted and discouraged by what’s going on in the world. In times of challenge I turn to improv, as over the past decade plus living like an improviser has helped me through some really dark and challenging times. I’ve been reflecting on how the principles of improv can help at times like this and how living like an improviser can help even in the hardest of times. And I wanted to write and share even just a little something about this, in case it supports others during your own hard times.
If you’ve read any of my previous posts you will have seen me share our Core 4 principles at Improve:
Say “yes, and”
Take everything as a gift
Play the scene you’re in, and
If it feels weird, do it
As improvisers, when we say “yes, and” it doesn’t mean we agree with what’s happening. It’s about acknowledging the reality of the scene we’re in, “and” then taking action based on that reality.
Living like an improviser involves acknowledging your feelings and then taking action. Handling global news isn’t anything different. Say “yes,” acknowledge how the news makes you feel, “and” then do something. Does reading about a(nother) school shooting make you feel sad and discouraged? Feel that sadness. “And” then support local politicians with intentions to do something about it that you agree with. Organize a parent meetup to figure out how to keep your school children safe. Talk to your child about what happened. Do something. That’s the “yes, and” mentality that improvisers use to move scenes forward, and the “yes, and” mentality you can use to move your life forward and contribute towards progress.
As hard as it can be, especially with the stuff you read that makes you want to vomit, improvisers and those living like improvisers “take everything as a gift”. I know, I know, the gifts the world has been giving at first glance (and even second and third glances) seem like the kind of gift you want to return instantly to the store. Challenging times and horrendous news bring about less obvious gifts — like the gift of insight, the gift of an opportunity to take action, the gift of learning something new, the gift of experiencing rage or fear and learning something about yourself and experiencing motivation to act in a powerful and impactful way, the gift of connecting with others around similarly shared values and beliefs, the gift of learning whom in your life shows up when times are tough. Surely these aren’t the kinds of gifts we expect, nor ask to get, wrapped nicely with bows at a birthday party or holiday celebration. But they are the kind of gifts that, when recognized as such, can inspire us, transform us, and lead to a better path forward.
Improvising also helps us manage our relationship with control. Improvisers cannot control the scene just like we cannot control what happens in our world. There are things we can control and things we cannot control. Like an improviser, when we focus on the things we can control (and “play the scene we’re in”) we can move the scene (i.e. our lives) forward and experience joy while doing it. We cannot control what has happened in the past. We can control what we learn from it. We can control how we act inspired by the past. We can play the scene we’re in. When we acknowledge the scene we’re in, even when it’s tough, we can move through it.
We cannot control if a law we don’t agree with gets passed. We can control whether we vote, whom we vote for, and the actions we take to support policies and policymakers we align with. We can control how we spend our time and where we donate our money.
We cannot control if a war breaks out in another country. We can control whether and how much we donate to support those harmed by the war. We can control showing up for friends or community members suffering or grieving loss of family, friends, or community in other countries.
We cannot control if there is a school shooting. We can control donating to organizations fighting for gun control. We can vote for politicians in support of gun control.
If it feels weird, do it when improvising is all about making the weird, comedic choice. Comedy is created when we do the unusual thing, when we break the expected pattern. In life, when we want new results we need to make new choices. This especially applies to times in the world when you want different results. Keeping in mind what you can and cannot control, make new choices for how to show up, how to support others, where or how much to donate, how to spend your time. That might mean calling friends more often to check up on them. It might be asking for help and support for yourself more often. It might mean turning off the news for an entire day to give yourself a break from reading and seeing about all the things that upset you. Only you can decide whatever the “weird” choice is for you. The point is to make the weird choice, especially if you want new outcomes.
It’s difficult for me to even write about these worldly events that actually happen in our society. It pains me to live in a world where school shootings happen (and so frequently), there are wars, and policies can be made that will negatively impact so many lives. It feels scary and helpless. I write about them though because I do believe that improv principles can help us cope with these scary, seemingly hopeless situations. Living like an improviser has helped me, so maybe it can help you too. When we improvise in a scene we relinquish our control over what we cannot control (the entire scene), and we play the scene we’re in, focusing on what we can do to move the scene forward. When we improvise in life we relinquish our control over what we cannot control, and we focus on what we can do for ourselves, our community, and our world. We say “yes”, acknowledge what’s happening and how we feel about it, “and” then we act.
When you read news that gets you feeling down, feel it. And then, do something about it. Say “yes, and”. Feeling and action is a powerful combination that can make for some incredibly entertaining improv scenes and radical inspiration and change in life.
❤
