“Making Yourself No Less”
A Mother’s Misguidance for Her Daughter in Romeo & Juliet and Gossip Girl
Romeo and Juliet and Gossip Girl illustrate how a mother’s guidance and vision for her daughter is often different from what the daughter wants. Juliet and Lady Capulet’s relationship in Romeo and Juliet is an example of how a mother can be blinded by the expectations of society and her husband without thinking of the daughters feelings. Likewise, in Gossip Girl, Serena and Lily’s relationship is damaged by all the choices both of them have made as they share different visions for what their family should look like to others.
Gossip Girl’s wealthy Upper East Side family must keep a superior reputation in order to keep their status above others, according to Lily van der Woodsen. Serena van der Woodsen and her mother have never had a close relationship. From Lily’s many husbands and making her kids feel like they are not priority, they do not have a close, mother-daughter relationship. Lily makes choices for her family to uphold their reputation that society is expecting them to keep as a wealthy Upper East Side family. However, sometimes these choices damage other people and sometimes even Serena and her brother Eric. Serena isn’t perfect either. She has made a lot of bad choices in her life but has been able to grow up and make better choices from her past mistakes. Yet, some people don’t believe that she can change so she is stuck in her bubble of her old self even though she has changed. To illustrate, in one night, she betrayed her best friend and was involved in her friend’s drug overdose and ran away to boarding school in Connecticut. There she partied and was involved in other “popular kids” activities. But in season 4, episode 11 we see how she met a teacher, Mr. Donovan who was nice and cared about her. She stopped partying and met with him regularly for help with school or guidance. Naturally, she started to fall for him and was in a predicament where a fellow student saw them and accused them of having a relationship. This relationship caused lots of trouble for Serena and Ben (Mr. Donovan). Serena stopped talking to Ben and returned to the city where she wanted to return to her old school, Constance/St. Jude’s. Lily had trouble enrolling Serena because she was accused of sleeping with a teacher, so Lily forged Serena’s signature on an affidavit accusing Ben of statutory rape, even though nothing happened. As a result, Ben went to prison for 5 years. Serena had no idea that Ben was in prison and when she found out she stopped talking to her mother unless she would figure out a way to get Ben out of jail. This story shows how Lily was willing to do something illegal, forge Serena’s signature, in order for her to go to a good school and continue to have a good reputation. This school is one of the best in the city and if Serena goes there then she will have a good reputation.
Lily: “I’ve tried to do what’s best for my family. It’s the one thing that has always guided me.”
Serena: “…That’s because having a daughter who is a mental hospital* threatens her carefully protected image. She wants you all to think that she is the perfect host and mother and wife, but the truth is she’s a selfish liar who will destroy anyone who stands in her way.”
*Serena was drugged by Ben’s sister as she wanted to get revenge for Ben. Serena did not know she was drugged and because of her past experiences she and her family believed she overdosed and was put into a mental hospital.
Lily makes many choices to protect her reputation and image because she is so influenced by the Upper East Side and how people see her and her family. She makes choices to “do what’s best for her family” even though these choices can affect and hurt other people. In order to make choices that her children would approve of, she has to know and understand who they are and their feelings. She clearly does not know her children as well as she should, which leads her to make choices that Serena and Eric disagree with. This causes them to have a worse relationship and make more bad choices. It’s a vicious circle and they can’t break the cycle. In order to break this cycle, they need to disregard the stereotypes of the Upper East Side and the “perfect” wealthy family and be a normal family that talks and makes choices for each other.
Lady Capulet and Juliet’s relationship in Romeo and Juliet is related to Serena and Lily’s because Lady Capulet makes choices to uphold her family’s reputation even though they can hurt Juliet. It is clear in the story that Nurse was way more of a mother figure to Juliet, making it hard for Lady Capulet to know Juliet. As a result, Juliet tells everything to Nurse and trusts her, as if she was her mother. It is evident that Nurse truly knows and understands Juliet and only makes choices for her benefit and that Juliet approves of. Because Juliet and Lady Capulet don’t have a great relationship where they trust each other, this led Juliet to make choices for herself even though it would greatly hurt her parents. Lady Capulet was influenced by her husband and trying to protect Juliet by sending her to marry Paris, against her will.
Nurse: “Have you got leave to go to shrift today?”
Juliet: “I have.”
Nurse: “Then hie you to hence to Friar Lawrence’ cell.
There stays a husband to make you a wife.” (Act 2, Scene 6, lines 71–74)
These scene shows how much Juliet trusts Nurse and vice-versa that they would lie to Lady Capulet. Juliet never even told her mother she was getting married, one of the happiest things to happen in your life.
After Lady Capulet learns that Paris has asked for Juliet’s hand in marriage, she goes to Juliet to ask her what she wants to do. However, instead of listening to Juliet who says she doesn’t want to get married, Lady Capulet says how Juliet should marry Paris because he has status and money. If she was to marry Paris then she would gain that status and wealth.
Lady Capulet: “That book in many’s eyes doth share the glory,
That in gold clasps locks in the golden story;
So shall you share all that he doth possess,
By having him, making yourself no less.” (Act 1, Scene 4, lines 97–100)
Just like from Lily’s point of view, Lady Capulet wants Juliet to marry Paris so she can gain status and be wealthy like Paris. Lady Capulet is only thinking of the image that she will have because her daughter married a wealthy man. Also the image that Juliet will have because she has status and married someone rich and with status, just like Lady Capulet did. Lady Capulet is not thinking of what Juliet wants, only what she wants her family’s image to look like, just like Lily’s problem with Serena.
In both circumstances, if the mothers and daughters tried to have a better relationship things might not have gone they way they did. Both mothers were influenced by the reputation they thought they must uphold while both daughters wanted to make their own choices. The mothers are so influenced by their society and upholding their reputation that they don’t care to know their daughters. Lady Capulet depends on Nurse to raise her daughter and Serena grows up by herself with no guidance, leading her to make the wrong choices. Both of these relationships are hurt and they need to be healed. To heal this relationship is challenging because of all the bad choices that were made. To get over them, they would both have to forgive and grow closer together.
Abstract:
From the texts I was able to figure out how bad of a relationship both Serena and Lily and Juliet and Lady Capulet had. This relationship caused them to make bad choices that they disagreed with because they had different views. To get my results, I rewatched season 4 episode 11 in Gossip Girl and recalled scenes where Lady Capulet and Juliet were disagreeing. I examined these scenes and came to my conclusions. I concluded that both mothers and daughters had bad relationships with each other and disagreed on the choices they were making because they didn’t truly understand each other. My conclusion matters because if these two woman got closer to each other then they would understand their feelings and who they truly are, leading them to make choices that are truly influencing for both of them.
