4 Lessons Learned From Living a Sedentary Lifestyle
Seven years of absence from weight lifting and no exercise taught me these priceless lessons
Sedentary means doing nothing, not being active. Sedentary could be little to practically no exercise. You may work all day, get home from work, and plop down on the couch for the rest of the evening. If you repeat this pattern over and over, chances are you’re living a sedentary lifestyle.
In my mid-30s, I became complacent and sedentary. I was a pissed-off and frustrated girl. I had both a bad mindset and was not keeping good company. Negativity breeds negativity. I didn’t understand this concept in that season of my life.
I remember wanting to be a fitness model when I was a teenager. I could visualize what I wanted and was jealous of people who had what I wanted. But I thought the task was so daunting I would never achieve it.
I faithfully went to the gym 3–4 times a week and even hired personal trainers. I cheated on my diet… a lot, yet expected a harmonious relationship between food and my body. No one taught me the importance or impact of nutrition on weight lifting and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I never saw nutrition being one of the critical components to my hypertrophic dreams. Epic fails on so many levels.
Nobody helped me make my vision become a reality. So I blamed everyone but myself. Hell, I barely believed in myself. All the while, everyone was willing and able to take my money. I thought I was doing the next best thing by joining whatever program in whatever gym, and that’s how I would get my results.
Wrong.
My health was just as poor at this time. I was struggling with chronic migraines. I was severely anxious, deeply depressed, and sleep-deprived. Healthy meals, what’s that? Please just give me all the wine and pop tarts! Plus, I worked night-shift at this time. So, there’s that.
I lived a life completely out of balance.
My life and habits certainly didn’t scream anything healthy. In turn, my life didn’t reflect anything related to a healthy lifestyle. But I lived a lie that “all is well.” I wasn’t just riding the struggle bus… I drove the damn thing!
Then one day, I had enough. I drove my struggle bus off a cliff, and walked away from it all. I crashed and burned my own bus. I stopped weight training entirely and gave up. F this. Nothing is working. I’m tired. I’m weary. I’m defeated. I surrender. This imaginary dream I have is not meant to be. Poor me.
I didn’t exercise or pick up one piece of equipment for seven years. Rest in peace to my fitness goals. My health remained the same… chronic migraines, unhappy, anxious and depressed, sleep-deprived. But, everything is awesome (lie)!
Little did I know that my inner child wore a pair of boxing gloves and was beating at my soul. I felt a few painful jabs here and there over the years I wasn’t working out. “Knock it off; we’re not doing this,” I would say with staunch animosity.
Then came April 6, 2021, and that facade came crashing down when my inner child had enough of my adult shit and decided to lite a bonfire inside me. “Stop ignoring what you were meant for and start working for better health. The migraines are gone. We took care of them. Now get to work on your body”. My white flag waving was completely ignored.
It wasn’t a tiny flame that started but rather an all-consuming fire. I got to work and started with a little tiny space in our spare bedroom. My inner voice reminded me that everything I needed was in the comfort and convenience of my home. I didn’t have to go back to a bogus commercial gym.
I am in the process of building my home gym in my basement, which is a much bigger space than the little corner of the spare bedroom I started in. But, that small place taught me that I need room to grow.
And now, a year into my transformation, it’s been a wild ride filled with ups and downs. I’ve resorted to the fact that I’ve become my own research experiment. And I’ve learned so much in a brief amount of time that I never knew before.
Everything I thought I once knew was actually wrong. Today, I know better. When you know better, you do better.
I use myself as a raw example of what not to do. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned that I want to share is that if you truly want something bad enough, and you’re meant to have it, you’ll find a way and make it happen! And once you find that way, no one can take it away from you either.
You become unstoppable.
These are the four valuable lessons I learned when I walked away from weight lifting many years ago. These lessons not only changed my perspective but my life. I hope they help you as well on your journey.
Let’s dive in:
1. It’s never too late, and you’re not too old
Age doesn’t matter; it’s just a number of how many years you’ve been alive and breathing on this planet.
But people use it as an excuse. An excuse is a well-planned lie you sell yourself on a frequent basis. Some excuses look like “I’m too old”, “It’s too late”, or “that ship has come and set sail a long time ago”. Age is not a valid or reliable indicator of how you’ll perform.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a 20-something or a 60-something. It’s never too late to start your transformation. My husband sent me an article some time ago about a man who always dreamed of becoming a physicist. He listened to other people and became a medical doctor instead. But, he always had an inner love and drive to become a physicist, despite his chosen career path. He graduated at the age of 89 with his Ph.D. in physics. He made his dream come true and didn’t let age stop him. It was inspiring for me to read that story.
What dreams are you letting slip through your fingers because you think it’s too late?
You’re never too old to start something you’ve always dreamed of doing. (Repeat that sentence a few times if needed).
Time marches on and doesn’t stop. We can’t go back in the past to change anything, nor should we pack up and live there either. The past is done and over with. Its only purpose is to serve as a teacher.
Pick up where you are now with your lesson, and move forward.
You can do anything at any age, including changing your body composition. At the time of this writing, I am 45 years young and in the best shape of my life… and it’s only just the beginning.
2. Muscles don’t grow themselves
I wish this were true, but it isn’t. No matter what I did in the past, I couldn’t get my body to respond accordingly to what I wanted or had visioned. But I also wasn’t providing the right ingredients either.
Muscles need time, nourishment, and recovery. They don’t grow themselves.
It’s like planting a garden. You put seeds in the ground because, for example, you want to grow string beans. But you can’t just plant the seeds and call it a day. The seeds need other factors to grow properly. They need water, sunlight, and time. If your garden is not provided with these basic needs, you won’t get the string beans you planted. It’s that simple.
The same basic concept applies to changing your body composition, including growing muscles. Look at your body as your garden. If you sow good stuff, you’ll reap great results. If you sow bad stuff, you’ll reap not-so-great results. What are you trying to grow in your garden? If you’re not getting what you want, what can you change?
Changing your body composition is more than just going through the motions and doing a workout. If your goal is to gain some lean healthy muscle, know that they don’t grow overnight or by themselves. There’s other factors at play.
Other factors include your quality (or lack thereof) of nutrition, sleep, hydration, supplementation, and mindset to name a few. I wrote a whole separate article about the eight habits needed to improve your fitness lifestyle. Rather than drone on about it, here’s the article.
If you want to change your life and your body composition, it takes time. There’s no magic recipe or ingredient to follow that’ll get you quicker results.
But maybe you’re trying to flex a different muscle, not just your physical body muscle. Maybe it’s a faith muscle, a courage muscle, or even a skill muscle. We have different muscles. Whether we realize it or not, all muscles need to be exercised so they grow stronger over time. When a muscle isn’t properly exercised or tended to, it atrophys (shrinks, gets weak).
Is there a muscle you’re trying to grow and get stronger?
3. Don’t give up on your future because someone misled you in the past
I gave up on my weight-lifting endeavors because I convinced myself that no one would or could help me. People failed me in the past, and I allowed that to impact my future.
I gave up on my future because I was misled by and listened to all the wrong people. Instead of changing what I was doing, or even changing myself (what a concept), I gave up because that was the easiest option. They were right, and I was wrong, so I’ll listen to them instead (don’t do this). That became my default setting… quit and walk away when things don’t go according to plan.
I even listened to doctors who thought they knew me better than I knew myself and my own health. I listened to them because I told myself they’re the experts and know the disease of migraines. Therefore, I was prescribed some powerful medications that took more of a toll on my health than the migraines alone.
Enough was enough and I took matters into my own hands. I became my own advocate and did my own research. I listened to my body and did what was best for me. And on my own, by changing my nutrition and lifestyle, I transformed my health and am now migraine-free. I never thought this was possible. Western medicine wanted me sick and on prescription medicines. My body and soul wanted a cure that doctors couldn’t provide.
Until recently, I didn’t look within to realize that I had the power and capacity to change myself; including curing myself of lifelong migraines. You have that same power and capacity to change. If you want to change (body, mind, spirit, etc.), it has to come from you and only you. Nobody else changes you…No doctor, trainer, coach, teacher, parent, spouse, or friend, despite what may be their best efforts. They may help, but they can’t do the actual work.
The hardest work you will ever do in this life is on yourself.
In retrospect, I also learned that if someone is failing you, then find someone else. Learn from those who have the results you crave so badly and role-model off them. You don’t have to know someone personally to learn from them and evolve into your future self. But you do have to have a vision and not give up.
Be consistent. Show up and do the work, even if that means flying solo for a while (which I’m currently doing).
4. Mindset is everything
This is remarkably powerful. In fact, If I’m being bold and brutally honest here, it’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned over the past two years.
My mindset was horrible and in the dumps when I walked away from the gym and weight lifting. I reaped what I sowed. I was stagnant in both life and mind. I grew weeds in the garden of my mind. Looking back, it was self-sabotage at its best.
The power of the mind is something I’ve only learned about and embraced since late 2020. Mindset is something I heard about in 2017, but never embraced or even applied to my life. I lied to myself for years, saying “that shit doesn’t work” or “it may work for some, but it won’t work for me”.
I spoke and thought death over myself and didn’t even realize it. The negative thoughts were as easy as breathing. My mind was a prime battle ground where war was waged on a daily basis.
Mindset truly is everything. Your mindset really does matter. Your mindset forms the tone for your life. Yes, shit happens. But it’s how you hand your shit that determines the outcomes.
Practically everything you need sits in the space between your ears. It begins with your story… the story you tell yourself is the most powerful story ever. That story is what plays out in your everyday reality.
You’re in one of two categories… the failure/fixed mindset or the growth/teachability mindset. It’s best to be in the growth/teachable mindset.
While both mindsets are powerful, one stops you from moving forward and taking action while the other moves you full steam ahead into your future. Which mindset are you in? Are you committed to living your best life or are you telling yourself another story filled with an endless array of excuses?
The good news is, there’s hope. You can change your mindset! You’re not stuck in a rut forever.
Arm yourself with knowledge… read more, listen to positive and helpful information, journal and meditate, reflect and assess, share your story, and simply just take one day at a time.
By doing small actionable items you complete on a daily basis, you’ll experience the compound effect and grow over time. This is where and how real growth occurs, and something I’ve learned only in the past year.
I continue to grow and challenge my mindset, so it doesn’t resort back to its default setting of comfort and convenience. After all, comfort is the enemy of growth. And it all starts with your mindset.
Key Takeaways
Everything happens for a reason, as cliche as that sounds.
Living a sedentary lifestyle took a small toll on my health, and proved to be the wake-up call I needed to get back on the right path again. Being sedentary may be okay for a short amount of time. But over time, it has adverse effects.
I’m forever grateful for the lessons learned when I walked away from weight training. The weights don’t care. They’re there as a guidepost. I wasn’t ready at that time for what I really wanted, because I wasn’t properly prepared. I had to learn and figure out some other things first. And above all, mindset, confidence, and courage were some of my lessons.
When I was ready, I was able to humble myself and realize I was starting all over from scratch. And that’s okay. The weights were ready, and this time so was I.
If you’re starting over with something in your life, it’s okay. What did you learn along the way? Four lessons that might help you include:
- Knowing that you’re never too late and you’re not too old.
- Muscles don’t grow themselves (or whatever muscle you’re trying to flex)
- Don’t give up on your future because someone misled you in the past
- Mindset truly matters
No matter what you face, never give up hope. All good things take time.
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