How Stoicism Helps You Overcome the Hate You Feel
What to do when you are unsettled by hatred from or of someone
Hardly ever is the suffering of real-life worse than the one in our head.
Hate is intoxicating. Unlike love, which can leave your mind by the morning after, hate is a bath we like to stew in. Important loved ones ironically compete for space in your head with the peripheral-few who you love to hate.
How to get over someone who occupies an unreasonable amount of space in your head, rent-free?
Let’s explore what stoicism has to offer to get over the sickness of hatred.
1. Why we hate
Your hatred is triggered when you find in another person proof of your perceived threat.
If you already “smell” something fishy, the moment you find an iota of proof that this is true, your alarm system called hate goes off. More often than not, all the triggers are in yourself.
Nothing outside of you has physical access to your thoughts and perceptions.
- Marcus Aurelius.
For example, a person might attack what you already perceive as your weaknesses. A passing comment which could have been a joke turns ugly.
