Before You Commit to Getting In Shape, Know This
Chuck your expectations out the freakin window
Despite having a father as a fitness trainer, it took me four years of getting in shape to reset my expectations. Expectations about people, about friends, and about myself.
There are fitness truths that nobody talks about. They’re counterintuitive. They betray your expectations. And most importantly, they’ll bum you out — unless you’re prepared to handle them.
Here are three.
People Will Assume You’re All-Natural
Did it take you four years to cultivate that six-pack? Well, tough cookie because nobody cares. In fact, they’re convinced you’re a smoking-hot Adonis because of your superior genetic makeup. Why? Because people would rather assume you’re lucky than believe you got where you are because you worked harder and smarter than they did.
Unless you’re posting your exercise secrets on YouTube for the public to fawn over, don’t bother trying to convey the truth of your blood and sweat-soaked morning routines to randoms in your life. People who matter will know just how many deadlifts you’ve squatted to carve that bubble-butt. And people with the determination to successfully break into the wide world of fitness will seek you out.
Friends Will Betray You, All the Damn Time
Beware, comrade-in-arms. Your biggest obstacle to getting lean is closer than you think. They’re your roommate, your best friend, your workout partner, your mom. They support your dedication to building the temple that is your body, and they are ready to catch you when you inevitably fall off the bandwagon.
Wait, what?
Yes. These loving, supportive folk don't actually believe you’re going to get shredded. That’s why they don’t have a problem stuffing the cabinets with chocolate Milky Ways and log-sized butter sticks. These friends are either oblivious to your internal turmoil (resist the butter — resist it!) or they’re secretly self-conscious of your hard-working habits. They’d rather drag you down than see their insecurities reflected in your glorious, sweaty back muscles.
These friends can be valuable allies, provided you convince them that yes, you are genuinely willing to put in the work to get swole/toned/curves. The best way to win them over is to stay committed and keep them updated on your progress. Good friends will soak up your pride and make it their own.
You’re Not As Tough As People Claim
In high school, my peers told me college was the perfect time to absolutely wreck my body. Eat crap, sleep never, drink until you’re drunk — then drink some more. Why? Because people in their late teens/early twenties are invincible. Their bodies aren’t just flesh and bones, they’re tanks. Over time, this BS rhetoric was ingrained into my unconscious habits. It never occurred to me to worry about overextending — surely, my body could handle whatever I threw at it.
During one of my many workout fads, I started running. The last time I’d run was sophomore year of high school — but I wasn’t about to let that stop me from melting some serious flab. I threw on a pair of old sneakers (because who needs running shoes, anyway?) and jogged my ass to the gym. Then I spent thirty minutes sprinting as fast as I could go without dropping dead. I repeated this Monday through Friday, forgoing stretches (because booo-riiing).
Next week, I hopped on a treadmill and screamed bloody murder.
Kidding. But my knees did hurt. They ached so much that I skipped my workout. Then the next workout, and the next. It took three weeks for the mystery pain in my knees to fade, and I still have trouble running long distances.
If I can overwork in the “prime” of my life, then so can you. Consider stretching a little after pilates — seriously. It could save your knees.
Now that you’re prepared to weather the sweat storm that is getting in shape, get out there and start pumping. Expect assumptions, avoid butter, and buy solid running shoes.
You’re ready to hit the ground running. Do it. I’m rooting for you.
