Coming to The Mat
Hello body.
Because it’s been hard to walk, because it hurts to press my feet to the ground, I’ve found my way here, to the mat, to this new yoga practice.
Unlike walking which I did in the mornings, I can do this any time of day. In fact, this is more often practiced in the afternoon, when I’m tired and have been sitting too long. My body, like another being inside, says, “Let’s go move. Let’s go say hello.”
So here I am, “Hello, Body.”
I sit on the mat with a blanket to raise my hips. Legs crossing, eyes closed. Almost right away I settle. I’m here, I feel. I’m here. Everything slows and gets quiet. I’ve turned off the phone. It’s only for 30 minutes, nothing too long or demanding. Some days it is simply a moving meditation, with gentle poses, slow stretches. There is something sweet that I have chosen, from some deep place, that I have honored this promise to myself, 30 minutes on the mat.
Focusing on the breathing, settling, grounding, honoring body.
I am a beginner. And that is ok. Unlike other things I’ve taken up, there is no frustration that my nose doesn’t touch my knees, or my palms the ground. No comparison that I can’t grab my heel, twist around, and breathe all at the same time as the instructor on screen can. That is not the goal. I only aim to come to the mat for 30 minutes and be with my body.
Hello, body. This is a deep internal listening, feeling into muscles stretching, and bones creaking, and a millimeter of stretch I couldn’t do before. There is the rhythm that is matching breath to stretch, inhale expand, exhale contract. As it becomes more second nature, I feel the rhythm as I move into the various positions.
Hello, body. I’ve been putting stars on my calendar for every day I show up. A way to support this new practice I want to maintain. I have almost a month of sparkles. But the impulse comes from a deeper place. It tugs and pushes. “Now,” it nudges, “now.”
There are days when fatigue and lethargy threaten to win the game. The couch beckons like a siren. “Come sit here,” it seems to entice, “read a book, close your eyes, take a nap.” But now there is that inner place, that deeper calling, whispering, “Come on now, just 30 minutes. You can give yourself that. Even if it is a slow-moving mediation, even if it is yoga for bedtime, just show up.”
I’m becoming a little more familiar with the poses. I don’t need to watch the screen as much. They no longer feel like circus contortions. I am still a beginner, still evolving. But the instructor is wonderful. Honoring wherever we are in the moment. Celebrating showing up, celebrating that I have given myself the gift of this time, this practice.
Coming to the mat, settling in, closing eyes, listening to my breathing. Feeling the connection to the ground, tuning in to feel muscles and tendons, where there is stiffness and creaking. Gently greeting, hello body.
Slowly, I get a wee bit stronger. I hold the plank a little longer. I feel a greater loosening in my hips, my back softens more easily.
When I relax and breathe, I stretch a little further. There’s a metaphor. When we relax and breathe, we can stretch a little further.
There is a greater sense of calm when I’m done. Deep satisfaction that I showed up. That I have befriended this body. We are both happy.
As I move, I feel the muscles I’ve worked, a little stiffness that will need to be eased. “Hello!” they say, “We’re here. We’re alive. Thank you for taking us out for a spin.”
I find when I move my body in the every day, I do it with more awareness, not so much on automatic pilot. Greeting toes, spine, glutes. Nice to see you.
I feel the call to deepen the practice. Maybe working a little longer, maybe picking a more challenging selection. Maybe going to an in-person class where I can get more feedback on position and posture, so I do it correctly, so I don’t cause pain or injury.
And so, I grow. As I inch my way into my age, it is a comfort to know that this relationship with my body is beginning anew. We have so much more to do together.
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