How I Learned to Deal With My Hyperhidrosis
When shaking hands is your worst nightmare
Believe it or not, sweating in excessive amounts is actually a medical condition and they have a name for it- hyperhidrosis. The percentage of the US population suffering from this condition is estimated to be around 4.8 % which translates to approximately 15.3 million people. It is not uncommon for patients of this disorder to complain about the negative effect it has on their daily lives, from work to romantic relationships.
I know what you’re thinking- how bad could it be? Sweating a little more than normal is no big deal.
As a person who has had to live with palmar(hands), plantar(feet) and axillary(underarms) hyperhidrosis nearly all her life, I beg to differ. From people assuming I’m nervous all the time to strangers recommending bizarre home remedies, I’ve had to put up with numerous things growing up. And let me tell you, it wasn’t easy.
Shying Away From Human Contact
During my adolescence, I went from being a bubbly, cheerful girl to a socially awkward teen and my hyperhidrosis was partly to blame.
Every time I would hug or high five a friend, they would scrunch up their face in disgust at the unexpected clamminess of my hands and it felt like a jab to my heart. Sometimes, my own friends would joke about my condition and I’d pretend to laugh along, trying to hide my embarrassment.
With each passing year, the sweating worsened and I began to avoid human contact altogether. This wasn’t a choice, but rather a decision I was forced to make in order to avoid getting hurt. Hyperhidrosis took a toll on my self esteem and social skills. Slowly, I began to withdraw into my shell.
Becoming Increasingly Aware of It
Imagine having a disorder that gets worse each time you think about it. You’re trying not to think about it, but in doing so, you’re technically still thinking about it. Your brain is at war with itself and soon, you lose all sense of control.
Welcome to my life.
I’ve had numerous occasions where hyperhidrosis has ruined my day or cost me an opportunity. The fear of sweating makes me sweat more profusely and feel less confident. The harder you try to keep it under control, the worse it gets.
There are also times when I manage to take my mind off of it and somebody that doesn’t know me very well or is unaware of my condition spots a sign of perspiration (simply because I sweat more than average), proceeds to draw attention to it and ask me if I’m okay. Suddenly, everyone’s staring at me and I break out into a sweat once again.
It’s a vicious cycle from which there is no escape.
Constantly Looking for a Cure
The hardest part of it all is that hyperhidrosis has no permanent cure- but that didn’t stop me from looking. I gave up eating spicy food, drinking coffee, corrected my sleep cycle and used antiperspirant hand lotions. I often dreamed about moving to one of the coldest countries in the world just to make the sweating stop for once. I even tried ayurvedic treatments and hacks the internet recommended, but to no avail.
When nothing seemed to work, I paid a visit to my dermatologist, desperate to find a solution. I was hoping to explore different treatment options and finally put an end to the problem that was causing me so much misery. Alas, he explained to me that hyperhidrosis was a result of the over-activity of the sympathetic nervous system and that there was no magic pill that could make it go away forever.
I was shattered.
Accepting and Living
There comes a certain point in life when you stop trying to conceal your own “flaws” and instead, truly accept yourself for who you are. I don’t think I’ve gotten there yet, but I’m definitely on my way.
I’ve realized that wallowing in self-pity isn’t going to do me any good and I’ve stopped trying to fix myself. I don’t think of this as me giving up or accepting defeat, but rather, as me telling myself that I’m different and that’s okay.
I’ve wasted so much time worrying about being perceived as odd or weird, time that I could’ve instead spent appreciating the little things and living in the moment. Sure, that one kid from your class called you gross. Or your coworker frowned a little when you shook hands with them. Human beings are inherently self-centered, so chances are, these people aren’t even going to remember that one moment you keep replaying in your head.
If you can’t change something about yourself, you’ve got to accept it as a part of you because that’s the only way to move forward. You can’t let it weigh you down and be the thing that stops you from living your best life.
I know it is easier said than done, especially when you’ve got one of the more severe cases of this disorder. In such instances, depending on your Hyperhidrosis Disease Severity Scale (HDSS), research has shown that Botox injections and iontophoresis can help to an extent, so these are some possible treatment options to discuss with your dermatologist. But it is important to keep in mind that neither of them deliver permanent results.
In the end, hyperhidrosis is not very different from most other insecurities. You’re straying away from a pattern that’s accepted as normal and it eats you up inside, but only if you let it. The same people that mock you for your imperfections are the ones that will tell you to get over them. But it’s not about them, it’s about you. You can’t control what other people do or say, but you can control the way you perceive things and the importance you place in external validation. Embrace your imperfections, but do not let them define you. You are an incredible human being with so much more to offer to the world.
