How to Improve Your Postpartum Anxiety with an App. Today.
Making getting better a game saved me when I finally became a mother
I was lonely. So lonely.
Even though I burst into happy tears when my doctor said, “It’s a girl!” — I really wanted a girl — I was still lonely. And I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me.
I finally had my baby. It took 5 1/2 years of poking, prodding, procedures, progesterone and too many miscarriages to count to have her. And here she was.
She was perfectly healthy — ten fingers, ten toes. And I was physically healthy. I had the family I always wanted. A husband who couldn’t have been more supportive. And a daughter.
How selfish it felt to be unhappy when I was sitting there holding my baby and so many others’ arms were empty.
I was screened by my doctor, my birth doula, and my postpartum doula for postpartum depression. I passed with flying colors. It wasn’t until later, after my husband went back to work, that I started having suicidal thoughts.
I’d be at a stoplight with my baby in her car seat and think, “If I were to kill myself, how would I do it? I could just drive into traffic. No, that would be too messy. And it would hurt other people. I guess I would just…
