How to Live a Purposeful Life without Regret
You won’t regret reading this.
Dying with regrets is a feeling most people fear even more than death itself. The thought of dying after living a life lacking purpose scares many. The number one piece of advice from the ones who have lived longer than most of us is to make sure to not have any regrets when you have to leave this planet. However, then the question is how can we live a life without having any regrets. How can you make sure that you experience life to the fullest and get everything out of your time on this planet called earth?
Time machine?
Regret is a feeling you experience some time after making a decision so to influence the emotion of regret we have to be able to look into the future. Unfortunately, we have not invented the time machine yet. Maybe Elon will invent something soon but for now, the only thing we can control is ourselves in the present day.
Controlling the present day
Future regrets have their roots in the present and are built on inaction. The first step towards a future without regrets lies in deciding on the present to start taking action. We all have those dreams for that one day when you have enough money, enough time or something else you are desperately waiting for to fall in front of you. However, waiting now will result in regrets later. The regret of not travelling the world when you still had time, not taking the job because you were not sure if you could handle it, or not spending time with your family because you were so-called busy. The difficult part is that a day only has 24 hours and you can’t say yes to everything. You only have a few coins of ‘yes’ in your wallet which you can not acquire more of because your time is limited. So, decisions have to be made and they won’t be easy. What decisions should you make now to not have any regrets later?
To find an absolute answer, you will need Elon’s time machine so the only thing you can do is find an approximate answer by trusting your own gut. Trust that you will make the right decisions and don’t forget that you can always just try something out even though you are not sure about it. It is easier to say that you have tried than to wish you had done it
The decision of time division
A day only has 24 hours, but it also has those 24 hours, so you can use them to your own liking whatever that may be. When it comes to making those choices about the division of your time it is important to consider rational arguments because our feelings are usually only focused on our current and present state of being. This means that making a decision based on your feelings will help your present self. However, to minimize regrets your aim should be to find out if it will help your future self as well. Here your rationale brain has to do its job. By looking at everything you can gain by saying yes and also by looking at everything you could lose, you can determine what the right choice is for the future. For instance, if you are offered an opportunity at work to do something you are passionate about and earn more would you take it if it meant you had to work an extra 10 hours a week and you could not spend as much anymore with the people you care about? This is tough to answer, but the only way to find the best approximate is to make a list of pros and cons for your future self.
Anticipate
To prevent that you end up at a place where you don’t know what you want it is important to anticipate instead of being reactive. Know what is important to you and know your purpose and aim in life. By knowing your purpose you can start picturing your perfect day and your perfect life. You will know how much time you want to spend on what aspects of your life. You can get into as many details as you want. What kind of work you want to do, what people do you want to spend time with and how much time do you want to spend on developing yourself? Are all questions you could ask yourself in the process of finding your aim. Then whenever an opportunity comes by you can look at the blueprint of your optimal life and make the decision based on that. Ask yourself: “Will this opportunity bring me closer to my blueprint or will it bring me farther from my goals?”
However, creating a blueprint for your life can have negative side effects. You can see your blueprint as your final destination and then every day you will feel like you are not yet living your best life. You can create a feeling of unhappiness by always reaching for that goal. To prevent negative feelings you should see every day as a step towards your goal because every day is a part of your journey. Goal setting is important but so is focusing on the process. Living a life without regrets means being grateful for what you have while still aiming higher and striving towards the optimal. You create a goal to determine the activities you need to focus on during your journey, which should be your main focus.
Creating your blueprint
What will your blueprint look like? The process of creating your blueprint will take some time, and it is not set in stone because we change and grow. We develop different needs which can change the way want our life to look like. For instance, someone who is in their twenties might say that they want to be financially free, retiring at 35. While this goal sounds good this person might find their passion in working for a certain company and turn 35 with enough money to retire but keep on working.
“Life is growth. You grow or you die.” — Phil Knight
If you don’t grow and develop yourself you might still be physically living but mentally you slowly die. Not working on something anymore is a no go for most ambitious and passionate people. If you are reading you are most likely more ambitious than the average human being and while you might not have found your passion yet, you are at least busy looking for it.
Are you ambitious? Are incapable of doing nothing? Then your blueprint should have a type of work or activity in which you can put all your energy and passion while still getting energy from it. It should be something that makes you get out of bed each morning. The kind of work that fills you with excitement. Nowadays many live for the weekends because our job is not exciting enough but that is less than 30% of your life. So, why would you give up 70% of your life just to do what you love for that other 30 %? This imbalance between work and passion is something that could become a massive regret later in life, so it is important to find something you can do that actually makes you feel alive instead of trying to exchange most of your time for money doing something you dislike just to have some money to spend during the days you are off.
Essentials for your blueprint
It does not matter what age you are but your knowledge, finances and health are three very big parts of your life. However, they don’t always seem to be that big of a deal right now because they are all future-oriented. As we now know the future aspect makes them important to minimize regrets later. If you don’t focus on your knowledge, finances and health now you will regret it later.
Finances
Your finances are of course important to regain more freedom, so you can take off a day of work to spend time with family or you can travel to that country you have always dreamed of exploring. For some, financial freedom might even mean that they want to be able to completely quit their job and start travelling the world at a certain age. Whatever it is you should see money as a means to a certain end, but definitely don’t see it as an end goal. Money is not inherently evil, money is just some imaginary concept that you can trade for time to create experiences.
Health
Health is usually forgotten when looking into the future. In the present day, we want to look fit and be healthy but we forget how nice it is to be 60 years old and still have the body to travel the world and run a marathon. If you are only focused on financial freedom, you might have the money but no physical freedom to do what you want. So, be aware of the foods you eat and make sure you treat your body like you need to live for 1000 years. Invest in your health first and think about money later, because, without your body, you can be financially free but still be very limited in your activities.
Knowledge
We need to train physically to improve our physique. However, we can also train our brains, to stay mentally fit. Mental fitness is just as important as physical fitness. Without mental capabilities, you can have money and a great physique but be mentally stuck in your body. It is important to always keep learning and challenging your mind. By exposing your brain to new knowledge and information daily, you can stay on top of innovations and keep your mind fit. Reading is a good place to start. Read a book on a topic that sparks your interest and train your brain. Next to that, with the current capabilities of the internet, we have access to so much knowledge. You can learn to code through YouTube or learn about quantum physics on the open-source website of MIT.
No regrets
Always remember that everything you do now will shape you for the next day, the next year and the next decade. If you want to be fit in 10 years, train your body and eat healthily. If you want to be financially free in 20 years, don’t spend too much on things you want right now because that might mean that in 20 years you won’t be able to buy those things you need.
“It’s better to look ahead and prepare, than to look back and regret.”
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