Meet the Steroid Man
The epitome of why those thinking of using steroids should think twice
Precursor
Defining steroids
Many bodybuilders use them to quickly gain strength, build muscle, and transcend their genetic potential. Although some bodybuilders take them under a doctor’s supervision, many abuse them and suffer consequences.
Intake methods
There seem to be two general routines for taking steroids, whether they are injectable or oral. One is taking a steady dosage throughout the year, and the other is commonly called blasting and cruising. The first type is self explanatory, but the latter is more nuanced.
An example of blasting and cruising would be three months on and three months off. The three months off usually involve post cycle therapy (PCT), taking medication like Nolvadex to counteract side effects.
Buying options
Steroids are often bought illegally. Otherwise, some countries are steroid friendly. If not, bodybuilders sometimes find loopholes to get prescriptions from pharmacies.
Eligibility for testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) is fairly easy in countries like the United States. In most cases, middle aged men use it to increase their testosterone levels again. Joe Rogan, a popular podcaster and Renaissance man, is an avid proponent.
Side effects
You have probably seen a list of steroid side effects before. To make them more relatable, it could be useful to read an imaginary story about a man who managed to get all major side effects. That way, you may get a better idea of what the steroid lifestyle can be like.
The Steroid Man
His backstory
The steroid man started taking steroids when he was a teenager because he was impatient. He got addicted when he realized he outgrew his friends who started weightlifting sooner.
Body dysmorphia
Despite his muscular arms, the steroid man can never been seen in a tank top because of the the purple acne on his shoulders. Recently, he has not even been wearing short sleeves because he ruptured an artery in his forearm and infected it while injecting.
To hide his balding head, he wears a cap if he did not have time to shave his head. He actually likes to shave his entire body to show muscle definition and because steroids made hair grow in undesirable places.
The steroid man often makes excuses not to go to the beach because of his gynecomastia or puffy nipples that sometimes lactate or produce milk. He would never wear briefs because they may reveal his shrunken testicles.
The only thing the steroid man has to show is his face, which has seen some noticeable gigantism as steroids do not only target muscle growth. He does not like the new size of his jaw, and he looks 50 when he is actually 35.
Criminal record
The steroid man was actually in jail for a few days due to his aggression and moodiness. On a sidewalk, a passerby accidentally bumped into his shoulder, and the steroid man fought him. In his prison cell, other prisoners could not sleep due to his incessant coughing.
The steroid man could have actually bailed himself out of jail for a small fee if he did not spend his entire pension on steroids.
At the police station, he also faced charges of possession without a prescription after his gym bag was searched. He also had to explain that his torso scar was because he was shot by a drug dealer.
The dealer tried to run away without handing over the steroids. Although the steroid man eventually got the steroids, they were not even real. They were just oil.
Health problems
The steroid man only goes to the doctor once every few years, and his test results show that his heart, liver, and kidneys are crying for help.
His doctor predicted that he would soon need crutches for his overworked joints, much like former bodybuilding world champion Ronnie Coleman. The doctor also recommended saving up for TRT, which would be mandatory when he becomes middle aged.
Besides lifting weights, the steroid man relieves himself by having sex with his wife. At times, he is a sex addict. At others, he does not want anything to do with it.
His wife divorced him when she realized he has erectile dysfunction and is impotent. Ironically, even she herself was taking steroids, suffering from a deepened voice and an enlarged clitoris.
Your Life, Your Decision
Now you know the story of the steroid man. Sure, his story is exaggerated, but there are actually people like him, and even a couple of his side effects can seriously downgrade one’s life.
As far as we know, we only have one guaranteed shot at life. If you really think steroids will fulfill you, you might find them worth it. Ronnie Coleman does not seem to regret his previous lifestyle due to the accolades it got him, and you might have a similar mentality.
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