The Terrible Journey of Watching a Partner Self-Destruct
When “In Sickness and In Health” becomes a terrifying burden as a loved one refuses to care for themselves
My friend Allen (not his real) name called yesterday as I was just about to start weeding the hill behind my house. He’s in his early seventies. I’d left him a message that I was juggling some interesting health news (“interesting” is a euphemism for momentarily scared shitless, but that’s another story). Allen’s a jock, a cyclist, skier, hiker, you name it. Ex-military. Seriously committed to healthy eating and exercise, as am I.
I balanced on my steep hillside, one hand holding the phone to my ear in the blessedly soft afternoon sunshine while I pulled up blackberry volunteers with the other. Allen told me a story about one couple dealing with a mismatch in their health commitments.
Some years ago Allen was a personal trainer. A woman who was in terrific shape, lovely gal, later in life, clearly very serious about her own health was a regular at his gym. She had bought a training package for her husband. Allen took the man on. It swiftly became clear that the gentleman had no interest whatsoever it learning how to exercise, eat better or take his health seriously.
