We Need to Stop Commenting on People’s Bodies
We have value at any size
I’ve spent most of my life self-conscious about my weight. Whether I’m in my “ideal weight” range or the “clinically obese” range (though I have serious reservations about any of these labels), I have always seen myself as fat. And, thanks to diet culture, it wasn’t a stretch to see myself as ugly and unworthy because of my size.
My weight has fluctuated over the years, and I’ll be honest: I’ve always loved the attention I get when I lose weight. Neighbors, friends, even the lifeguard at my gym’s pool. Anytime someone says, “Wow, you look great!” I glow.
It can be hard work to lose weight. When someone recognizes the results of my efforts, I feel validated. But that’s not the end of the story, and we all know it.
The world has taught me for my entire life that the smaller I am and the less space I take up, the more value I have. I want people to notice when I lose weight. I expect them to notice. And I want to hear about it. Compliments tell me more than, “You’ve worked hard and I recognize that.”
They say, “You’re more acceptable this way,” and, “You’re prettier when you’re thin,” and, “This is the right way to be.” And of course I want to feel accepted, pretty, and right. Who wouldn’t?
