Why Can’t You Eat This For Breakfast?

Over the space of a few decades, traditional eating habits developed over thousands of years, have been largely obliterated. What we now consider to be cultural norms have, in historical terms, existed for about as long as a cosmic fart.

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Surely only a cerealist dictator could have achieved the sweeping cultural transformation that General Secretary Kellogg has performed on our poor breakfast table.

The evolution of TV certainly accelerated the penetration of minds eager for convenience — the masses unable to believe their luck — something so tasty, easy to prepare and apparently so good for you too. Refrigerators, surpluses, subsidies and governments dispensing nutritional advice based on unsubstantiated claptrap have all helped the cerealist movement.

While we could discuss what people used to eat before General Secretary Kellogg inserted colourful boxes of carbohydrate into our subconscious or even when breakfast actually became a thing, it’s really not important.

What is important is that despite the unutterable crisis facing the health of our nation, kids up and down the country are still starting their days with bowlfuls of sugar. Bowlfuls of sugar that are largely endorsed by a government that chooses to keep its feet firmly planted in the nutritional dark ages.

On empty stomachs these bowls of refined carbohydrates send blood glucose levels through the roof, kicking off a daily battle between diet and pancreas and probably a lifelong one with obesity too.

Eating a more balanced meal at the start of the day, a meal not dominated by refined carbohydrates can make a huge difference — blood sugar won’t spike so it won’t subsequently dip either, which means steady blood sugar, steady insulin, steady moods and the removal of cravings between meals. For kids, it almost certainly means better concentration, better learning and better behaviour in the classroom too.

Think scrambled eggs on sourdough; greek yoghurt with chopped nuts, berries and oats; poached eggs with spinach; ricotta and tomatoes on toast; omelettes; even a bacon sandwich would be an improvement. And avoid fruit juices and smoothies too — eat the whole fruits and vegetables where the fibre hasn’t been pulverised and can still help slow the absorption of the fructose.

Better still, why not have a salad?

I can hear the gasps. I know you think it’s weird. My kids think I’m weird. But what I’ve found is that once you grasp the nutritional impact of different foods and their effect on blood sugar it is easy to put the ridiculous customs so recently adopted by our brainwashed society to one side — you kind of have to really.

Start with lettuce, tomato and cucumber, throw on some olives, sprinkle with walnuts or almonds, scatter some feta or mozzarella, add fruit — nectarine or orange, drizzle some olive oil and a squeeze of lemon. Bingo! A delicious, super-nutritious breakfast that leaves you feeling full and your blood glucose at a healthy level. You can finish off with a slice of buttered sourdough if you feel the need — you’ve probably already cushioned the blow to your blood sugar by consuming the fibre, protein and fat first.

Okay, so a salad is not for everyone but the point is we have to change the cerealist dogma that surrounds breakfast. We need to bring back the foods which we may no longer think of as breakfast foods — meat, fish, cheese and vegetables. We need a revolution. The anti-cerealists need to rise up because something ain’t right when the likes of Kelloggs are making hundreds of millions of pounds every year while our health service crumbles under the strain of metabolic diseases.

So, when you wake up tomorrow, instead of buckling up and jumping on the sugar roller-coaster just drink a glass of water, swear allegiance to the anti-cerealists and stick your head in the salad drawer.

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