Why Everyones Life is Perfect And Yours is a Mess
Do you know this feeling of being the only person on this planet whose life is a big old mess? While you struggle with even getting out of bed in the morning, let alone build up an amazing career, everybody else is living their picture perfect, planned out life. How is that possible? Why are you the only one not succeeding? Are you a failure?
I remember this feeling. Thinking that I am constantly failing and simply giving up. It held me down for so long. Too long. I used to compare myself to every person around me. While they reached their goals, built up stabile relationships and planned out the rest of their perfect life, I lived by a motto.
I can’t even…
That was my motto. My inner hold back.
“ I can’t even decide on what career path I should take.”
“ I can’t even find a boyfriend.”
“ I can’t even get my body to look like a Victoria Secret Model.”
My old list of “ can’t evens” was endless. It was constantly growing with every new thing I tried our or dreamt of.
It sounds stupid to me now. Thinking about myself being convinced that I was, and would always be, a failure. That I would be the only person who wouldn’t figure out what life is all about. But this way of thinking changed in an instant. I just needed to realize one simple thing. One point I had always forgotten, but just taken for granted.
Everybody else did not have everything figured out!
It is so simple, but so true. Why do we never think about that? We just focus on ourselves and forget about the other peoples struggles and burdens. But they are just like us. Perfectly imperfect.
Realizing that changed a lot. All of a sudden I saw the world with open eyes, not as narrow minded as I used to be. Ignorant as I was, I din’t see how everybody else struggled. How my friends did not have life figured out quite yet, but instead they just tried to find their way. Just like I did.
The difference between them and me was though; they had a lot more faith. It doesn’t mean that they were confident in themselves and their life plans all along, but they believed… They believed in their place within tis world. They believed that everything would work out somehow. Maybe not instantly, but when the time was right.
I used to only see their success’, but I closed my eyes in ignorance of all the struggles they went through. I did not see how they went into bed crying, nervous if the decisions they had made were the right ones. I did not see all the unlucky relationships and lonely nights they went through, before finally finding their soulmate. I just looked to see all the things I could be jealous of.
The worst thing, actually two things, about my ignorance was though; I had such a hard time to be exited and happy for my friends, because I was blinded by jealousy. I had to fake a smile and force out congratulations as my best friend got accepted to her dream university. Simply because I was not sure, if my choice of uni was the right one. So why could she be all exited, while my nerves were close to exploding?
How could I not see that she probably struggled with the exact same thing I did? Why could I not just be happy for her and hope that everything would work out for both her and me?
Secondly, my ignorance got me ignoring my own small wins throughout my life. We see all these posts on Instagram of people living their best life, we forget that we have an amazing life ourselves. We just need to take it into our own hands and create the life we want to be living. So instead of appreciating that I got into my top choice university myself, I freaked out because I had not scored a top earning job yet. Weird, don’t you think? I wasn’t supposed to score this kind of a job, my plan was to live my life as an averagely broke uni student for the next couple of years. So why wasn’t I happy that I was heading towards that?
Why are we never satisfied with what we have?
We are always on the hunt for improvement. Often that’s a good thing. It drives us forward and makes us outstanding, but sometimes it holds us back. Holds us back in just living and pursuing our dreams. Maybe we’ll fail, but that okay. We are supposed to fail, because that is how we learn. So why are we so afraid of not being perfect?
