Why I differentiate between “good” and “bad” friends, and why I think it is okay to judge a little.
For a lot of people I appear to be a bad person because of one simple thing I do. Because I judge people. Because, for me, it is important that my friends are active people. That they live an active and health oriented life. I prioritize this one thing over a lot of other qualities, because it often times defines the character of someone. For a lot of people this seems judgmental and extreme. But don’t you think I might have a point with that? If you don’t, let me explain…
I grew up in a very active family. I lived on a farm the majority of my childhood, but I went to a private school. So instead of being in class with my friends, I was stuck with the “city kids”, as I like to call them. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of my friends nowadays are from bigger cities, but there are definitely differences between country and city people.
With that I do not only mean the stereotypical differences we see in movies and social media, because no, we do not only wear cowboy hats and tiny jeans skirts, even though we come from the countryside and own horses. And I know that not every city girl runs around in nothing but oversize hoodies, reusable straws, adidas superstars and call themselves VSCO girls. I indeed know that. But let me tell you where the real difference lies.
My dad used to say: “They say the city never sleeps, but it’s the country people who are always on the run”
There is a lot of truth in that. Living on a farm, taking care of animals, day in and day out, teaches you a valuable lesson. It teaches you that sleeping and having some time of is a luxury, because work is a necessity when working with animals. An animal is like a child, it needs care around the clock. It needs to be feed, the stables need to be cleaned, etc. The list never ends. And whenever you think you might have a minute to relax, they get sick. That’s just how it works and we don’t complain, because we love our animals.
But city people never learn that. Yes, they might have a pet to take care of, but it is not quite the same. Most people my age, who come from the city, they complain! They always complain about everything and everyone. Nothing is ever good enough and they are never treated with the respect they think they’d deserve. That is a trait I didn’t know from back home. No one ever complained about getting up early in the morning, they just did.
I don’t mean to generalize, but in a lot of cases my statement will be true. If people are not forced to get up early every single morning to feed a herd of cows, they will most likely grow up to become teenagers who won’t get out of bed until 3pm on weekends. They will most likely complain about the hard work at the cafe they are working at and that they would much rather sleep in, because they’ve been out all night.
But there are always exceptions to the rule of thumb! And that is where I found that my earlier stated slightly judgmental rule comes in to play.
I quickly noticed something as I moved to the city myself. I don’t like people who never get up, who always complain and cannot ever seem to be satisfied. These character traits are widely spread among all humans of first world countries, but how did our countries get so far ahead? Certainly not because of the people who never want to work or get up in the morning. Certainly not because of the people who are always doing the minimum required.
No. Successful countries became successful because of people who gave it their everything! This is what, not only makes countries, but people in general, successful. That they always get a 110%.
And this kind of effort I find mostly represented by people who care about themselves. This is why I choose my friends that way. A person who knows that he needs to be able to put in their best efforts to whatever they might do, they know how discipline works, and they know that it is a necessity to take of yourself and your body.
After all; how do you expect to your body to function to a 100% of its capacity, if you are not willing to fuel it properly? How do you expect your brain to think ahead, if you only grant it 4 hours of sleep a night? How do you expect your body to last until it’s a hundred years old, if you do not put in the effort to keep it fit?
You can’t expect that if you are not willing to put in the effort. Simple as that. Put a lot of people do not understand this simple bit of math. Instead, they complain. “ Why is my back aching at 25 years old?” “ Why can’t I concentrate for more than 2 hours at work?” “Why am I always sooo tired in the morning?” Well, guess what. There is always going to be a valid reason for your complaints, but you have to make the change yourself. It won’t just happen.
So this is why I choose health oriented and often fit people over others. Because they motivate me to do a little better every single day. They motivate me to always give things my everything. This kind of friends does not hold you back or knock you into a hole full of self-pity, but they’ll help you to change the things you don’t like.
I think those are the most valuable features a friend, or human in general, can possess. And this is why I am not ashamed to say that I do indeed judge people because of that. I do not think that humans who do not have these characteristics are bad people, but for the most part, they are not the kind of people I want to surround myself with.
