PERSONAL ESSAY | HUMOR | FUN LISTICLE
17 Old Sayings and Bits of Advice, All Tuned Up and Ready to Rock
An irreverent re-mix
I love old sayings, just about as much as I love classic rock. Aren’t they fun? They carry a lot of truth, generally. That’s why they’re still with us. But I decided it would be even more fun to clarify or rewrite some of them, play them in a new way. An update is long overdue. Everything needs to be refreshed now and then, right?
So here’s my re-mix of some dusty old adages.
Nothing in the world is friendlier than a wet dog. Not true. In my experience, there is one thing friendlier than a wet dog, and that’s a drunk man. I once struggled to peel my large, and exceedingly inebriated, though-still-cute, Sailor out of our car after a great evening at our friends’ house. As I put my arms around him and finally got him on his feet, he was suddenly overcome with lust. He was all over me in the driveway, and I was giggling like a fool. We barely escaped rolling around on the dew-kissed front lawn in the wee hours, and a visit from the police.
A bad excuse is better than none. Aren’t bad excuses just that? Bad? They don’t fly. My youngest daughter had a much simpler philosophy. According to her, it was much easier to get forgiveness than…
