THE PENNY PUB
A Journey of Self-Discovery and Acceptance
How understanding my autism changed my life and led to empowerment
Perceptions and reactions are what life is composed of; it is a concatenation of moments. Some pass unnoticed, while others leave an unerasable print on us and can even change the course of our lives. For me, the decisive moment came when I realized that I was not like my peers — when my neurodiversity first struck me.
I knew I was different since childhood. While other children sailed along effortlessly in their social interactions, I always struggled to understand unwritten rules and norms. Simple conversations were like jigsaw puzzles to me, and crowded places flooded my senses with information overload. But this heightened perception came at the expense of social ease.
School was a difficult environment for me. Academically, I thrived deep-diving into subjects that interested me a lot. However, when it came to social interaction and working in groups, I lagged behind my classmates. Teachers praised my intelligence but also noted that I “do not participate” and have “difficulties in group work.” Though well-meaning, these remarks seemed like criticisms that only served to isolate me further from others.
My transformative moment came when I was in my early teens and stumbled upon an article about autism spectrum disorder (ASD). The words struck a chord deep within me, like a mirror showing me my own reflection. It seemed to fit; the behavioral patterns, sensory sensitivities, and difficulties in social engagements were all there. It was as though someone had finally described what my life had been like until that time.
Soon after, full of concern and hope, I went to see my parents. They accepted this and we went to meet a psychologist for advice. After being evaluated several times, it was confirmed that I had autism spectrum disorder. The term provided some fright at first but gave me a basis for understanding myself better. In effect, this marked turning point offers two things: one is who I am now, and secondly, many more problems.
I didn’t immediately start embracing my neurodiversity. It took years of self-reflection, therapy sessions, and support to fully acknowledge and value my different view of life. Initially, the diagnosis of autism felt like a weight on me due to the world’s emphasis on conformity, which symbolized it as something deviant in nature. This made me feel worthless and annoyed, considering why I wasn’t like every other person.
Nevertheless, as time went by, I came to acknowledge the strengths of my neurodiversity. My attention to detail, ability to intensely focus on tasks and unusual problem solving approaches became strengths that were valued rather than weaknesses. I learnt how to apply these strong points in different parts of my life including academics and hobbies.
Finding a community of people who experienced the same thing was one of the most important things that happened after my diagnosis. Internet forums, support groups, and advocacy organizations became safe places where I could freely speak about myself without fear of being judged. They provided me with validation and empathy, making me feel like I was not alone in this journey.
Connecting with others who had similar struggles and successes transformed me. It showed me the significance of self-advocacy as well as collective voices which are powerful. We have been able to raise awareness for neurodiversity so that it can be more accepted, through challenging normal societal beliefs.
When considering this turning point in my life, there is profound gratitude in my thoughts. The initial shock and sadness brought about by the diagnosis have given way to acceptance and empowerment. Accepting that I am neurodiverse has allowed me to create a unique path for myself that is free from trying to conform to a typical brain’s mold.
I have chosen to make a career in areas where my strengths are best utilized, as well as where high attention to detail and analytical skills are appreciated. My personal relationships may be few, but they are deep and meaningful because of mutual understanding and respect. I can’t believe how much I have grown personally over the past few years — learning to set boundaries, communicate my needs, and advocate for myself in ways that were completely new to me.
My journey towards embracing neurodiversity continues, but there are times when the pain is unbearable, especially due to societal barriers and misunderstandings. Nonetheless, the feeling that comes from being true to oneself outweighs these challenges.
As I look ahead, I will remain an advocate for people with different brains (neurodiverse). I want to live in a world where differences are not treated like stigma but rather celebrated, where everyone gets a chance to sail smoothly on their unique course.
One moment, I became aware of my neurodiversity, and this was a turning point in my life that has never been reversed. Even though it wasn’t an easy path to follow, I reached out for more knowledge of myself. I am glad about the change because I have become the person I am now — a person who values his differences and works towards creating an inclusive society.
