Finding the Zebras Among the Giraffes
Spoiler: there’s a little zebra in all of us
“Do you know what your problem is?”
That’s a rude thing for a therapist to say.
“Your problem is you’re a radical independent thinker, and you don’t accept that about yourself.”
He was right, I didn’t. Actually, I had been trying to blend in for so long that I was not aware I was different. Instead, during my dark years, I simply chafed at why everyone else couldn’t or wouldn’t see what I saw. This misunderstanding made me feel like an outsider.
‘The dark years’ is what I euphemistically call the years I was in therapy. I was confused, angry, and depressed, to the point of being suicidal. I needed to allow myself to remember the trauma I experienced as a child. “Why can’t that stuff stay buried?” I asked repeatedly. Remembering meant feeling. Finally, as children often blame themselves for things outside their control, the adult me needed to place the blame where it belonged. Once I did that, I was able to let go of the crippling shame, anger and depression.
Now I’m in the, hmm, I don’t have a name for this period. Let’s see Discovery Land. Yes, that will work. It’s like Disneyland, but better. After that talk with my therapist, I began to embrace my uniqueness. I came to see it…
