HUMOR | CIRCLES OF HELL AND FUN WITH THE FAMILY
Hell is a Group Text
‘Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.‘— Dante Alighieri
In the 14th century, Dante outlined nine circles of Hell. A quick review of his list will tell you that Dante was probably not much fun at a party. I’m thinking he was a real drag.
Circle 1: Limbo. A relatively calm place where all the nice pagans (folks who are virtuous but not baptized) get to spend the afterlife. This is where you are likely to find the great philosophers and their modern-day counterparts like Willie Nelson. Not bad enough for Hell, but definitely sacrilegious. Smoking weed, and all that incessant carrying-on.
Circle 2: Lust. The exceedingly windy final destination of the passionate who like sex and lots of it. When you get there, you will likely run into Wilt Chamberlain and lascivious Cousin Eddie, the bane of your family’s existence. I’m not sure where wind factors in. Hot gusts of desire, maybe.
Circle 3: Gluttony. If you fantasize about spending Eternity rotting away in never-ending icy rain and slush (not unlike our recent weather), dreaming about all of the chocolate eclairs you haven’t yet tried, this is just the place for you. If food is your jam, I suggest packing around a good raincoat, just in case.
