IN FOR A PENNY | MUSIC
The Soundtrack of My Life: 5 Reflections on How Music Helped Me Mature in Life
From love and loss to self-discovery and responsibility, explore how music has shaped one man’s journey through life.
Music has always been a significant part of my life. It has helped me mature and taught me valuable lessons about life, love, and responsibility. The melodies became my companions through thick and thin and were there for me when nobody else was. They were like a mirror that reflected my soul, a tattoo that imprinted my experiences, and a diary that recorded my stories. It was a beautiful journey! I recommend that you read the lyrics to these iconic songs by following the links I’ll leave for each one.
There were several rock bands whose songs became a part of my life. Bands like Legião Urbana, The Beatles, Roxette, Bob Marley and Wailers, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, and Eric Clapton are part of this selective list. When I think about growing up, a couple of songs come to mind: “The Logical Song” by Supertramp and “Canción Para Mi Muerte” by the Argentinian Sui Generis.
Lesson 1 — Nostalgia, Learning as You Go
Growing up in the eighties and nineties was tough. I utilized my guitar to express myself since I never fit in. Talking to girls my age was difficult for me as a teenager. I know that feeling strange and uncomfortable is normal, and understanding our emotions can be hard. Dealing with rejections at this age is tough, especially when you’re immature you take things very personally.
I had a hard time connecting with girls my age or younger because they always wanted to party and had bubbly personalities. I preferred a quieter setting where we could talk and listen to each other. It was like trying to talk to a hurricane that never calmed down. Being a hard-headed introvert played its role as well. I guess I was an old soul.
By a “happy accident,” I began dating an older woman; she was divorced in her thirties, about twelve years older than me, and didn’t want children. I found comfort and emotional security in that relationship and discovered The Police’s “Wrapped Around Your Finger.” I lived that story in that song. I guess that through these experiences, I began to learn about love, fulfilling my sexual desires, and moving on from past traumas. Despite the risks, I enjoyed the freedom of living irresponsibly with these women and am grateful to have emerged unscathed.
Lesson 2 — Use songs to tattoo experiences and tell your stories
During my relationships, I enjoyed picking a theme song to define that specific relationship. One of my first songs was “Vento no Litoral” by the Brazilian rock band Legião Urbana. This sad romantic song describes the pain of losing a loved one. I also enjoyed other great Legião Urbana songs like “Angra dos Reis” and “Teatro dos Vampiros.” They all share this romantic ideal that I pursued and like a true romantic. Another memorable song was “The Great Gig in the Sky” by Pink Floyd, which reminded me of a woman having multiple intense orgasms. Lastly, “Something” by The Beatles, composed and sung by George Harrison, came during one of my last relationships with an older woman. I guess I have an old song taste; I’m an old soul.
Here are some of my favourite love songs:
Even Better than the Real Thing — U2
Sweet Child ‘O Mine — Guns n’ Roses
Whole Lotta Love — Led Zeppelin
Thank You — Led Zeppelin
Every Little Thing She Does is Magic — The Police
We’ll be Together — Sting
They Can’t Take That Away from Me — Rod Stewart
I Can’t Stop Loving You — BB King with Diane Shuur
Fly Me To The Moon — Frank Sinatra and Tom Jobim
On The Rocks — Rita Lee
Mania de Você — Rita Lee
You Can Leave Your Hat On — Joe Cocker
Você Não Entende Nada — Caetano Veloso
Quase um Segundo — Os Paralamas do Sucesso
How Deep is Your Love — Bee Gees
Let’s Stay Together — Al Green
You Make Loving Fun — Fleetwood Mac
Change the World — Eric Clapton
Wonderful Tonight — Eric Clapton
The words of David Gilmour’s song “Near the End” gave me comfort through a very difficult time in my life about 5–6 years ago. I was depressed and decided to move to Canada to start again. After about three years of living in Toronto with just a suitcase full of dreams, I met my wife on Match.com; we got married after 3–4 months together. She’s a lovely Kurdish woman with a big heart. Our darling baby boy was born two years after that.
I’ve been dealt many curveballs in life, and I appreciate my family and friends for supporting me. Being a father and living with my wife has given my life more significance and excitement. This song reminds me that some things never change and that, despite getting older, life can still be full of adventure and love.
Lesson 3 — One day, you’ll eventually have to face yourself
The Brazilian song “Não vou me Adaptar” by Titãs talks about disconnection from oneself and society, especially for young people. The lyrics suggest a disconnect between personal growth and societal development and warn of the disparity between technological and physical progress versus emotional, psychological, and spiritual growth. The song warns of a growing malaise and sense of disconnection, leading to symptoms of a general illness or “civilization malaise.”
We can only understand ourselves by looking back on what we did, and I see that I was just trying to find love in this big wild world out there. I matured late, but I gained the confidence to take responsibility for my desires in life. I’ve outgrown the thrill of being in a relationship, as described in the song “Wrapped Around Your Finger,” where I was the younger one learning the art of love. I suppose that’s what maturity is all about.
Lesson 4 — Learn from your mistakes to avoid repeating them.
This song, “Ooh La La,” by The Faces, speaks to me. It’s a reflective and nostalgic song that deals with the themes of aging, regret, and the passing of time. The lyrics are written by an older person who wishes they had known then what they know now.
The opening lines, “Poor old Granddad, I laughed at all his words / I thought he was a bitter man, he spoke of women’s ways,” set the tone for the rest of the song, which reflects on the lessons that the speaker has learned throughout their life. The chorus, which features the line “I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger,” is a refrain that emphasizes the speaker’s sense of regret and nostalgia.
The song’s lyrics also discuss love and relationships. For instance, in the second verse, “I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger / I would have been a better lover.” These remarks show that the singer has learned from prior relationship failures and wishes they had been better at love while younger.
Overall, the song is a bittersweet reflection on the lessons and regrets of aging, resonating with many listeners over the years.
“Como Nossos Pais” is a famous Brazilian song written by Belchior and sung by Elis Regina that speaks to the disillusionment and confusion of a young generation during a time of political turmoil. The narrator wonders if the previous generation truly knew what was best for the future and questions their choices and values. The song resonates with young people who struggle to find their own path in a society that can feel stagnant and oppressive. It’s like the song is saying, ‘Hey, we are not our parents, and we want to make things better, but how do we do it?’ It’s a call to action for the youth to take charge and make change happen. The song gives hope for a better future and inspires us to keep fighting for what we believe in.”
Lesson 5 — “This too shall pass”
“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans,” wrote John Lennon in “Beautiful Boy,” a song he wrote for his son Sean. I’m learning to organize myself better to live more responsibly. I often over-plan, overthink, and overdo things but get nowhere. I’m learning to let go and share responsibility. My family is always there for me.
I worry about how social media will affect my child and future generations as a father. It’s like a Matrix World that sucks you in it just like that, and due to so much information, it creates misinformation; we must teach our children how to navigate it. I’m reminded of Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World,” where pleasure addicts lose contact with reality. It’s virtual insanity that can cause depression, anxiety, and suicide.
I don’t want my child to be influenced by social media celebrities who promote materialistic values and a superficial way of life. I want to teach him how to value the simple things in life, enjoy and explore nature, the pleasures of different sports, meditation and mindfulness, and especially the power of reading books and unlocking the power of his imagination. “Love is like a flower; you gotta let it grow.”
Men’s sexual fantasies can sometimes cause them to lose sight of reality and objectify women, which is problematic. The education system doesn’t encourage traditional gender roles, and sexuality has become more fluid, leaving men unsure about expectations. Children and teens need rules, with exceptions introduced on a case-by-case basis with maturity and dialogue. The progressive mentality dominant in recent years can be dangerous, and we’re seeing a significant shift in male behaviour as a result.
So, I’m taking responsibility for my child’s future. I’m like a gardener, nurturing a young plant. I’m like a sailor, charting a course to a new horizon. I’m like a swimmer, diving into the ocean of life. I’m teaching my child how to swim, sail, and garden. I’m teaching him how to be a captain of his own destiny. And I hope he will pass on these lessons to his children and future generations.
Tom Hanks recently said in an interview that he wished he could tell his younger self, “This too shall pass,” despite fame, money, power, or hard times. We all share the same sun, and the only things in life that are guaranteed are death and taxes. Even though I’ve failed many times, I’m still here. I’m strong and a survivor. It’s a basic job, but I fight for my loved ones daily.
Conclusion
Music has been such an important part of my life. It’s taught me so much about love, loss, and responsibility.
“Being a mature person means you take responsibility for your life, learn from what you’ve been given, and use your knowledge to make your life better.” — Jordan Peterson.
This quote from Jordan Peterson resonates with me and through the journey I describe here in the article. I feel like music has been a powerful tool in teaching me about myself and the world. I really believe it can be for others too. As parents, we should teach our kids these life skills to help them succeed in life. You know, by combining the practical skills they learn in school with emotional intelligence and values taught at home, we can raise well-rounded and successful individuals who can create the life they want.
