Finding My Balance
The one thing we continuously strive for in our daily life is finding balance, whether it’s in food, work, wellbeing and our relationships with others and ourselves.
I have always tried to keep a balance between my work as a journalist and my personal life, and I thought I had finally reached it two years after deciding to go freelance.
But once the pandemic hit, it seemed like almost all of my efforts had gone out of the window. Breaking news was (and still is) happening on a daily basis and my “normal” was no longer able to keep pace with the changing times. Migraines also quickly started to become the norm.
But as the days and weeks went by, I started to slow down and observe my feelings, rather than jump on the first idea that sprung in my mind. As journalists, we are trained to live at 100 miles an hour, day in day out. The adrenaline has always kept me going but I felt the time had come to truly prioritise my wellbeing, in every sense of the term.
So one morning, I dropped my virtual bags and told the universe I was giving up my routine and surrendering to it. Surrendering for *it* to decide how I should go about my days at home and allow it to find my balance instead. And that is precisely when harmony began to settle in.
I have always struggled with relinquishing control over my life. Four years of practice in meditation, therapy and energy healing ensured my daily battles were no longer as tough. But I have learned that, the deeper you go, the more courage you will need. Life will keep testing your abilities of letting go and just “going with the flow” of life but it will also equip you with the tools to do so. You always have a choice. And when you recognise that, you start to realise just how much “control” you have over your happiness, as long as you continuously try to listen to and follow the flow of the universe.
This one was particularly tough for me as I quickly came to realise that I needed to sit still for a bit longer, remain quiet on many more occasions than the usual, and just listen to that voice that emanates from within. That voice that always seems to know what is best for you, even if you sometimes try to fight it.
That day I decided to relinquish as much control as I could, I entered what I like to call a “dance” with the universe. It felt more like a waltz, to tell you the truth. Smooth, beautiful and completely harmonious. You never quite know how good of a dancer you actually are until you enter a dance with the universe.
I had never felt so in sync with “what is” but all I know is that I fell in love with it. I fell in love with that feeling of knowing that, the more I let go, the more I was being supported.
Daily practices of meditation and weekly sessions of therapy and energy healing have definitely helped make that journey easier. I always say that a spiritual journey is a difficult one. It can get ugly, sad, angry, nostalgic, it will literally turn you inside out and will push you until you reach the end of your tether and the world as you know it.
But once you tip over the edge — and you will know when you do — when you finally reach that sweet spot, there is nothing more beautiful and empowering than that.
As humans, we hold on to control like no other. Uncertainty about the future is the main reason many of us feel anxious or scared about what may happen.
But what I know and have learned is this: when you have faith — true faith — and hope, simply in what is, then you will hold the key to your happiness. Life will always be an amalgamation of ups and downs, a rollercoaster ride of contrast that you can either choose to embrace or combat. Regardless of whether you like it or not, it will happen.
And when you stop for a minute, breathe, observe and welcome that ride with open arms, you will find that what lies throughout are much higher highs and much less significant lows. You will find gratefulness, peace of mind and pure joy. And that is the one thing I am truly appreciative for that I have been able to learn 35 years into my life.
