This is How I Fell in Love with a City
I miss it daily, but don’t see myself there any more
I never thought that one could be in a relationship with a place, not a person. When I first came to Tbilisi, the capital of Georgia, I hadn’t felt this way. Yet for the next four years, I had been thinking about getting back.
So, four years later, in March 2022, I stood on Botanical Garden Street — at the heart of the city. This is where I rented my first apartment here. And this is when our relationship began.
Denial
We didn’t get along at first. I anticipated it to be like every other place I had been before. With online shopping, fast delivery, digitalisation, predictable traffic, you name it. I desperately tried to fit Tbilisi into this paradigm.
Tbilisi resisted like a proud Highlander. Persians and Osmans had been trying to conquer it for centuries but failed. You see, I never had a chance…
Anger
Our mutual resistance didn’t help me understand this place. I couldn’t understand where to buy food, how and where to cook, or where to find the goods I used to buy. I felt angry and lonely.
Back then I didn’t know the main thing about Tbilisi: forget Google Maps, stick your head out of the house and talk to locals.
So, I began exploring the city from the side I knew and liked — history. Old Tbilisi is full of history. The area I lived in — the sulphur baths — used to be an Azerbaijani district with an old mosque. The one nearby was full of exquisitely crafted wooden houses. The next one was the area with the Russian Empire’s enormous 19th-century buildings, which are now covered in bindweed and cracks.
After long juicy walks, I felt less angry.
Bargaining
Soon, I realised that Tbilisi was full of hidden gems. So, I imagined myself on a holy grail quest.
Because religion is everything in Georgia. Locals make a righteous cross sign whenever they see a church or simply a cross in the distance. Religion is the most important thing which makes Georgian mediaeval churches so attractive to explore.
My grail searches would occasionally take me to bazaars. There I was bargaining with old ladies who were always trying to charge me tourist prices. Because I was a foreigner. And always would be without speaking Georgian.
And this is the hardest part. Georgian is a very hard language to learn. And without the language, it’s hard to make new connections with locals.
Depression
I was craving to make new acquaintances. Locals I had met before were trying to pick me up. While they were driving me home, fixing my heater, or selling me a fan. Annoying, yet it seems to be a Georgian cultural thing.
And I just needed a friend…
I began with board games that Russian IT folk are into so much. But I felt it was more about competition, than communication. I needed something else.
It was the time to get back to the digital world — I opened my Facebook… The first time I scrolled Facebook, I realised that something was always going on in Tbilisi. Board games, social dances, hiking and travelling groups, art classes, gigs and lectures.
And this was how I grew to love this place.
Acceptance
A few months into language exchange clubs, live action role plays, group hikes and jazz night, I found myself surrounded by people.
Tbilisi has been one of the easiest places to catch up with new people and establish connections. As opposed to some places where people come and go, Tbilisi turned out to be the place where I managed to strengthen my ties with people.
Other specifics of the city subsided. Even if a bus driver decided to speak to a neighbour, causing the bus to be an hour late. Even if you had no idea what your hairdresser was talking about while doing your haircut. Even if you failed to find unsalted bread. I was still content, so it didn’t matter.
New Beginning
I left Tbilisi three months ago. I left the vibes, people, and slow living.
Why?
I realised that my home was not a place, but a person. The one I met and lost in Tbilisi when he got back home. That fact helped me understand that I didn’t have to stick to any place any more.
Since then, I’ve been moving about and haven’t recognised myself anywhere. I still long for Tbilisi. So, if you are there, say hello to anyone you see there.
