Vanessa’s Excellent Animal Adventures
The crazy cat lady celebrates all critters… except snakes, they’re just evil!
I’m an animal lover, but cats are my kryptonite. Coming in a very close second are horses… and squirrels… and chipmunks… and deer… damn! It’s like Sophie’s choice!
I have met more critters than I could possibly count over the course of my life and move with gay abandon towards any of them. My last words could possibly be, “here kitty, kitty, kitty,” as I approach a mountain lion!
Australia
The land downunder is known for its kangaroos and koalas but did you know that kangaroo fur is much softer than koala fur? Most people think it’s the other way around. Some kangaroo fur almost feels like velvet and is amazing to the touch.
The big boys that live in the outback are built like Jean-Claude Van Damme, so I wouldn’t suggest you try and feel them up!
Canada
As I mentioned in my opening, I struggle to choose which of my Canadian critter friends to love the most so for your viewing pleasure, please find pictures of me in an almost orgasmic state of bliss — feeding squirrels, chipmunks, and deer by hand.
God bless their little furry souls for making me so happy!
Costa Rica
Sloths! One of Costa Rica’s leading tourist attractions. Whether you think they’re ugly or cute, it doesn’t change the fact that they’re incredibly gentle and sweet as apple pie.
Plus, they move super slowly — a quality that becomes nearer and dearer to my heart with each passing year… she says listening to her bones crack as she gets up from her chair.
Germany
Bunnies! In Germany it was wabbit-season, and not in the psychotic Elmer Fudd, rabbit stew kinda way, in a most excellent way. Bella the bunny was one of the major highlights of my recent trip to Germany and I immortalized her in a video.
Well, I’m not quite famous enough to immortalize anything, but you get the drift.
South Africa
From a young ‘un with a feral 70s bowl haircut (thank you mother), I’ve had an obsession with horses. In fact, I collected ceramic horses for years which were displayed proudly on small wooden shelves mounted on the walls of my childhood bedroom.
My dream was to live on a ranch with horses and cats everywhere, and for a fleeting moment in time I did.
USA
It was just outside of San Antonio, Texas, that I was able to realize my childhood dream, if only for a moment in time. Reckless, on the left, was an ornery filly, but the sexiest b!tch I’ve ever met, with a great ass to boot!
Roy the wonder stud, on the right, was the laziest bugger I’ve ever seen. Getting him to move was like getting candy from a five-year-old… mission impossible.
The year I spent on that ranch fulfilled my childhood longing and the memories spur me on to get a little ranch of my very own someday.
Allow me to leave y’all with a video from Parc Omega near Montreal. Happy crunching always floats my boat.
