Not Everyone Claiming to be a Victim Deserves Support

Most people do not understand abuse & coercive control, leaving them vulnerable to be deceived by abusers who pretend to be victims

A. Joshua W.
In Medio Stat Veritas
10 min readFeb 11, 2024

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Photo by Afif Ramdhasuma on Unsplash

I’d like to revisit something that may have faded from your memory — something that briefly captured attention back in July of 2023 — involving a woman alleging her ex-partner was abusive & controlling on social media.

In summary, the article denounces Jonah as controlling and voices support of Sarah’s actions. It claims he is using his boundaries as an excuse to control her behavior and that conduct such as this is a warning sign that a man could be potentially abusive.

While this conclusion is not wrong, I believe it is misleading & inaccurate. Abuse within a relationship may begin with this sort of behavior, but this sort of behavior does not mean the relationship will become abusive. There’s another side to consider, which is well described in this article:

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A. Joshua W.
In Medio Stat Veritas

Full-time single father of 3 sons, INFJ, HSP/empath, narc abuse survivor, former rising star in chiropractic until lies & biases destroyed my career.