I’m a Junkie
And I see no reason to stop
I’m a junkie. I have been for years, but very few people know that about me. It started out many years ago when I got hooked on Judge Judy. But, like all junkies everywhere, I couldn’t stop there. I tried People’s Court (and lived through four or five different judges), Judge Matthis, and even Divorce Court! What I can’t abide are the fake court shows, like America’s Court with Judge Ross, where actors take the place of real litigants. They are so obviously sham shows, fully scripted with terrible actors. When you’ve had the real thing, there’s no reason to use synthetic lawsuits.
I tell people I love them because the parties are so often stupid. Judge Milian (People’s Court) allows the idiocy to continue, but Judge Judy calls them out with a “You’re a moron!” Of course, that’s not the only reason I watch. I convince myself that it’s the American Justice System at work before our eyes. But really, a junkie just needs her junk!
And, just like a drug addict, I moved on to bigger and better things. I moved into the True Crime realm, at first smoking a little Forensic Files, then sniffing Snapped, Someone They Knew, and People Magazine Investigates, and finally shooting up The Real Murders of New York, Atlanta, and Los Angeles directly into my veins. It has gotten to the point that I don’t watch any sitcoms or TV dramas anymore, except for an occasional rerun of Matlock (which is really a combination of my two favorite vices, crime and court shows).
And then, I don’t know how this happened, last winter, I found Court TV. This is true True Crime. All the cases are real, usually criminal cases, with real prosecuting attorneys and defense attorneys going head-to-head with defendants who have committed (generally) murder or some other heinous, serious crime. Their tagline is “Your front row seat to Justice,” and I really get my fix having that seat right up front!
I got hooked watching the Alex Murdaugh murder case. Murdaugh was a very wealthy attorney in (as the anchors keep saying) low country South Carolina, who was accused of murdering his wife and younger son, Paul. I followed that up with “The Doomsday Cult Mom Murders” case, which was both horrific and hilarious! She was ultimately convicted of conspiring to have her young, autistic son and teenage daughter killed and the wife of her soon-to-be new spouse. What was so funny was that she and her new husband are members of a doomsday Mormon sect, and he’s the prophet of this cult. So, they said her children had to die because they had become zombies. Not really funny, I know, but it took the edge off all the horror of their actions. I’ve since watched “The Murder of Dan Markel” which has had four separate trials (all guilty), with another one and possibly two on the way, “The Eye Drops Murder” (guilty), “Deadly Cop Chokehold” (not guilty), “Love Triangle Murder” (guilty), “The Boy in the Box” trial (guilty), and particularly interesting to me because I live in Michigan, “The School Shooter Mom” (guilty), and “The School Shooter Dad” which is currently in jury deliberations.
Court TV also gives information on cases that are coming up, like “The Doomsday Prophet Murder(s) (the Cult Mom’s husband) and the “Idaho Student Murders.” In that way, they whet my appetite for what’s to come — when I’ll next be able to mainline a new case.
I start watching at 8:00 in the morning, with Opening Statements, then hours of live court with commentary, and I finish at 10 pm when Closing Arguments ends. I even have the app on my phone, so if I go out and something particularly captivating is on, I’ll plug my phone into the car radio and listen while I drive.
I have been on three juries in my life, once when I was an alternate and didn’t get to deliberate, and two others where we found the defendants guilty. I tried very hard to keep my attention focused, but it was often difficult with long, boring scientific testimony. Somehow, it’s so much more interesting now when my opinion has nothing to do with the outcome. Several times, as I’ve watched TV I’ve said, “I would have hung that jury if I was on it” because I didn’t agree with the verdict!
So, I’m not ready to give up this habit, even though people throw scorn at me, scrunching up their nose and shaking their head (or at least that’s what my daughter, Sarah, does!) I’ve learned a great deal about our judicial system, I realize I would never want to be an attorney, and, if I ever get accused of murder, I know which of their legal commentators I’d want as my lawyer!
