Starting Kindergarten
Fear of the biggest thing I’d ever done
“Come. We’ll take a walk to your new school,” Mommy said the day before I started kindergarten. I was excited to start school, but I was scared. What if I hated it? What if all the children hated me? What if they teased me because of my funny shoe? Up until then, I never worried about these things. I had friends and family who loved me, and no one made fun of my shoe with a two-inch lift on the bottom. I didn’t want people to hate me, and I didn’t want them to make fun of my short leg.
“Mommy, what if the kids don’t like me?” Mommy, trying to calm my fears, reassured me, “Don’t worry, Jannie. They’ll love you. You’ll be the smartest girl in the school.”
It was a long walk — eight or nine blocks to the school. There were two reasons I had to walk. I didn’t live in the area where I was eligible to ride a bus, and my mother didn’t know how to drive. Once school started, I was going to walk with my friends Meryl and Susan, but I was slower, and I got tired quickly. And I hoped I wouldn’t make them late so they would get mad at me!
The school was named PS 132. The PS stands for public school, and every New York elementary and junior high school has a number name. It was an institutional-looking three-story brick school building on 218th Street in Laurelton. It was frightening to think I was entering that big, scary building. Three sides were covered with long windows; one side, which faced the playground, just a few smaller ones. I found out that the big windows were either classrooms or offices. I have no idea what the little windows held inside.
When we finally arrived at the school, we passed the playground. It was surrounded by a chain link fence, was cement, and had no playground equipment. There were two potsy games painted on the ground and a small baseball diamond with painted bases and baselines. There may have been basketball hoops. There was also a pole with a tether ball attached, which was removed one day a year so that maypole ribbons could be fastened for the May Day celebration.
We couldn’t go into the building that day before school started, but we walked around the playground and the school and looked it over. It was huge. Except for the hospitals I was used to being in, I’d never been in a building as large as that one. I could get lost in something that big! I think I was more frightened than ever to go to school.
On our way home, still being taught the route by mommy, I tried to pay attention so I wouldn’t get lost when I had to walk by myself. I lived in a neighborhood of attached houses, and each block looked the same. I hoped I’d be able to recognize my street. Then, mommy told me she would walk me to and from school every day for the first week or so until I felt comfortable.
I woke up the next day and dressed in my new first-day-of-school dress. I had breakfast, and my mommy and I walked to school, meeting Meryl and Susan and their mothers on the way. My friends were just as nervous as I was, so I felt a little better.
We all walked into the building, into a large open foyer. Someone told us where the kindergarten rooms were. My classroom was on the first floor. On each side of the corridor were long rows of doors, all looking the same. The door my mom and I entered said “Miss Rose” and had a flower picture on it. The room looked like so much fun! There were colorful posters around the room, the alphabet pasted to the wall above the blackboard, easels with large paper clipped to it for painting, and boxes and boxes of toys. In the front of the room were shelves full of books. At the door, welcoming all the kids and parents in, was the perfect teacher, Miss Rose. She was young and had wavy hair and bright, beautiful eyes. She smiled at me as I walked in and pointed out where I was going to sit.
Oh, I was going to love kindergarten.
