Why I Came Back to Work
From January to April 2019, I had the opportunity to be at home with my sweet, curious, perfect (I’m not biased) little girl, Fallon. I knew that being at a company with a good family leave program was important, but until I experienced it for myself I couldn’t have known how important it was. I had 12 weeks off (fully paid) to spend with this new human. TWELVE whole weeks.
During that time, I received supportive texts, delivered meals and many visits from my fellow Hudlies. We had a tribe of people supporting us in this new journey. Not once was I asked to hop online and help with XYZ. Every interaction I had with someone from work was truly about our friendship.
At about week 10, I started dreading leaving the little human I was spending every moment with. Every bone in my body was telling me I shouldn’t go back to work (even though I loved my company and team). I cried every day the week leading up to my return date. My husband and I had really serious conversations about me staying at home. Ultimately, I knew I wanted to show my daughter that she didn’t have to choose between having a career AND having a family, so I went back to work.
I can’t sugarcoat it, the first week back was really hard. I got asked questions like, “Are you excited to be back?” And there is no real winning answer to that question. But I went back to an environment that truly supported me. My first day back my locker (we don’t have designated desks) was decorated with signs and streamers. It was filled with kind notes, my favorite candy and a board game. My team was truly there for me in this transition.
The first few weeks, I had critical conversations with my team and manager about where I wanted my career to go and what I needed to be successful at work and in turn at home. I had access to amazing mothers’ rooms and the entire company paid me the respect of not scheduling meetings over my time. About a month in, it sunk in that I could truly progress my career AND be the mom I wanted to be. I didn’t have to choose.
If I had gone back to work and not had the support to grow and be a whole person, I can confidently say I would have become a stay at home mom. Going back to work has helped me develop into a version of myself I’m really proud of. I prioritize and delegate at both work at home, and neither has to suffer.
If you’re reading this and debating going back to work after maternity leave, let me leave you with these takeaways:
- Just try it. If it breaks your heart more than it helps you be whole, restrategize.
- Know what your employer will be like AHEAD of returning — ask other moms.
- Don’t be afraid to ask questions.
- Look for an employer that will actually support you and your journey.
If you’re working on #4, we’re hiring.
