Love it or fix it?
We humans tend to be fixers; we find our purpose in using creative skills to be a part of mending or creating. Work, children, home projects, etc.
More often than necessary, conversations centered around your grandparents (or other relatives up the tree) tend to be about well-being. Have you ever found yourself engaged a typical conversation such as:
Son: How is grandma doing?
Father: Her blood sugar has been off today, she is feeling very fatigued.
Son: Has she been eating right, or exercising?
Maybe she should try …
Our human tendency is to compartmentalize the fact that we are mortal. To try and fix any and all ailments. Though, no matter how hard we try to preserve ourselves, the fact remains: we will depart as quickly as we entered.
As modern medicine improves, we are more likely to leave this world in the same way we entered. As we age, we begin to loose certain facilities, gradually becoming more and more reliant on others for help. This raises an inevitable question:
Should we be more concerned about safety or joy?
The right answer is not always clear. Here are some simple, practical applications:
What do they want? It is extremely easy to neglect the desires of the person even with good intentions. It is more likely that you and your loved one would rather have a meaningful life than a safe one. I know that I would rather risk falling down the stairs than sacrificing the purpose at the end.
What would you want? If you are put in a position of having more responsibilities concerning your aging loved one, a great way to answer tough questions is to put yourself in their position.
- Spend more time listening. You might be surprised of what you will find. You might find that you benefit more than they do.
- Be creative. Purpose is the foremost need of an individual, though purpose is a moving target. There are many stories of unlikely pairings, from children to parakeets, that can provide a purpose through interaction and responsibility.
- Be an advocate. Fight for their desire. There is likely no one who knows what’s best more than the ones who love them most.
