Chapter 15

“Explain to me,” Kuzya asked after a while, “how you managed to remember something that you didn’t know?”

“When my dad got a new telephone number at work, my mom couldn’t remember it. So, my dad told her: ‘But it’s so simple! The first three digits are the same as our home telephone and the last four are the year of the Great Patriotic War, 1812.’ When you asked me to call my dad, I instantly remembered that. Get it? Now I will always remember this and, when we return home, I will definitely read and learn everything there is to know about Ivan the Terrible. I’ll read up on his sons, especially about Fedya. I’m really happy that I was able to help myself, Kuzya. Do you know how nice it is to solve a problem by yourself? It’s like scoring a goal.”

“Or catching a mouse,” Kuzya sighed.

The ball started to slowly roll across the grass. Kuzya and I followed it. Our journey continued.

“Despite the dangers, it’s very interesting here,” I said. “Every minute, there’s some sort of an adventure that awaits us.”

“And these adventures are always either unpleasant or dangerous,” muttered Kuzya. “As far as I’m concerned, I’m fed up with this land.”

“But think of how many extraordinary things we have seen here!”

All of the guys in the class will probably envy me when I tell them about this Land of Unlearned Lessons. Zoya Fillipovna will call me up to the front of the room. There will be absolute silence in the class and only the girls will be gasping at every turn of the story. Maybe Zoya Fillipovna will even invite the school principal to listen to my story.

“Do you really think that anyone will believe you?” asked Kuzya. “They’ll just make fun of you!”

“Why is that?”

“Do people ever believe in something that they haven’t seen with their own eyes? Nobody would be able to confirm your words.”

“And you? I’ll take you to the class with me. Just the sole fact that you now know how to speak like a human…”

“Bear!” shouted Kuzya.

The angry polar bear jumped right out of the woods and headed straight for us. Steam was rolling out of his mouth. He bared his teeth. It was the end… But Kuzya, my dear Kuzya…

“Goodbye, master!” Kuzya cried. “I’m running away from you and heading North!”

As the cat continued to run, the bear rushed after him with a roar. Kuzya’s military trick was a blazing success. He had saved me.

But he wasn’t so lucky…

I wandered after the ball. Without Kuzya, it was very sad. Maybe the bear caught up with him and tore him to shreds? Maybe it would have been better if Kuzya stayed home and didn’t follow me to this land.

To make it less lonely and dreary, I started singing a song:

You walk through a country of deserts,

Singing a song to yourself.

The path isn’t tough or confusing,

When walking along with a friend.

Not knowing that he is a trúe friend,

With him you don’t want to be friends.

But once it will happen — you’ll lose him,

How sad will the walking now seem.

I really missed Kuzya. Whatever the cat said, whether it was stupid or funny, he always wished me well and was my true friend.

All of a sudden, the ball stopped. I looked around. To my right, there was a mountain covered in snow and ice. At the very top of it, under a snowy spruce, there sat an African boy with a monkey. Both were trembling from the cold and clinging to each other. Large snowflakes were falling on them.

I looked to my left. There was also a mountain, but without any snow. On the contrary, hot desert sun shone on the mountain. Palm trees, tall grass, and bright tropical flowers grew on it. An Eskimo and my polar bear sat under the palm tree. Will I ever get rid of the polar bear?

I approached the foot of the Cold Mountain and immediately felt a chill. It was freezing. I then ran to the foot of the Hot Mountain and felt the muggy, hot desert air. I immediately wanted to pull of my shirt, it was so hot. I ran to the middle, where it was nice. Neither cold nor hot. Perfect.

I could hear moans and screams coming from both mountains.

“I’m shaking all over,” the African boy complained. “Cold white flies are stinging me! Give me the sun! Get rid of the white flies!”

“I’ll soon melt like a piece of lard,” the Eskimo cried. “Please give me a little snow. Even a tiny bit of ice!”

The polar bear roared the loudest of all. His roar drowned out everyone else:

“Give me back my North! I will be cooked in my own skin!”

The African boy noticed me and said:

“White boy, you have a kind face. Please save us!”

“Have pity!” begged the little Eskimo kid.

“Who put you over there?” I shouted from below.

“Viktor Perestukin!” the boys, the bear, and the monkey answered in unison. “He mixed up the geographical zones. Save us! Please save us!”

“I can’t! I need to find my cat first. Then, if I have time…”

“Save us,” the monkey squeaked. “Save us and we will give you back your cat.”

“Is Kuzya with you?”

“Don’t believe us? Look!” the bear barked.

Almost immediately, my cat appeared on the Hot Mountain.

“Kuzya! Tsk-tsk-tsk,” I called the cat. I was very excited to see him.

“I’m dying of heat, please save me!” Kuzya croaked and disappeared.

“Hold on! I am coming for you!”

I started to climb the mountain. It felt just like the heat blowing out of a hot oven.

“Master!” I heard Kuzya’s voice from a completely different direction.

I looked around and saw that my cat was already on the Cold mountain, next to the monkey. Kuzya was shivering from the cold.

“I’m freezing, master… Save me!”

“Hold on, Kuzya! I am running toward you!”

Quickly climbing down the Hot Mountain, I began to climb the ice to scale the Cold Mountain. Cold air was sweeping over me.

“Master!” I heard Kuzya’s voice again.

The cat was already standing on the Hot Mountain, next to the bear. I rolled down the icy slope to the middle, between the two mountains. It became clear to me that they had no plans of giving me back my cat.

“Give my cat back to me!”

“Tell us which zones we inhabit first!”

“I don’t know. When the teacher was talking about geographical zones, I was reading a book about spies.”

Upon hearing my answer, all of the animals roared, and the boys cried. The bear threatened to rip me to shreds and the monkey promised to scratch out my eyes. Kuzya wheezed and gasped for air. I felt terribly sorry for all of them, but what could I possibly do? I promised them that I would learn all of the seas and oceans, continents, islands and peninsulas. But they demanded one thing: I had to remember the geographical zones.

“I can’t! I can’t!” I screamed in desperation, closing my ears with my hands and shutting my eyes.

It suddenly became quiet. When I looked up, I heard Kuzya’s voice:

“I’m dying, master… Goodbye…”

I couldn’t let Kuzya die. And I shouted:

“Dear Geography! Please help me!”

“Hello, Viktor,” someone said next to me.

I looked around. Right in front of me was my geography textbook.

“You can’t remember the geographical zones? Well, that’s nonsense! You know them all. Which zone is inhabited by the monkey?”

“In the Tropical Zone,” I replied with such confidence, as if I knew the answer beforehand.

“And the polar bear?”

“Beyond the Arctic Circle.”

“That’s great, Vitya. Now look to your right and to your left.”

I did precisely that. Now, the African boy was sitting on the Hot Mountain, eating a banana, and grinning. The monkey climbed up the palm tree and made funny faces at us. Then I glanced at the Cold Mountain. There, the polar bear was laying on the ice. The heat finally stopped tormenting him. The Eskimo waved to us with his fur mitten.

“Where is Kuzya?”

“I’m right here, master.”

The cat quietly sat at my feet, with his tail wrapped tightly around him. Geography asked me one final question: whether I would like to continue my journey or return home?

“Home, home,” Kuzya purred, narrowing his green eyes.

“What about you, Vitya?”

I also wanted to go home. But how would we get there? Our ball was gone.

“Now that I’m with you,” the geography textbook said, “a ball is no longer necessary. I know all the roads in the world.”

Geography waved a pen in the air and Kuzya and I were lifted off the ground. We rose into the air and immediately descended at the steps of our apartment building. I ran into my room. Just now, I realized how much I’ve missed my house!

Hello, my table and my chairs! Hello to you, the walls and the ceiling!

And here is my cute little table, with a scattering of textbooks and nails.

“Isn’t it great that we’re finally home, Kuzya!”

Kuzya yawned, turned away from me, and jumped onto the windowsill.

“Tomorrow, you’ll go to school with me and confirm my story about the Land of Unlearned Lessons. Okay?”

Kuzya was laying down on the windowsill and swinging his tail. Then he jumped to his feet and started looking out the window. I also looked outside. Topsy — Lucy Karandashkina’s cat — was strolling around the courtyard.

“Listen to me,” I told Kuzya sternly, “Tomorrow… Why aren’t you responding? Kuzya!”

The cat was stubbornly silent. I tugged on his tail. He meowed and jumped off the windowsill. Suddenly, I realized that I would not hear a single word from him ever again.

My geography textbook was probably standing outside my door, so I ran outside to invite her in:

“Come in, dear Geography!”

But there was no one standing behind the door. A tattered book was laying on the threshold. It was my geography textbook.

I heard my mother’s voice from the kitchen.

How could I ever forget about her? How dare I, without asking, fly away to the Land of Unlearned Lessons! Poor mother! I bet that she was terribly worried about me!

My mom entered the room. My dear, the best, the most beautiful, the kindest mother in the entire world. But she didn’t seem to be excited at all.

“Were you worried about me, mommy?”

She looked at me with surprise. This is probably because I rarely called her ‘mommy’.

“I’m always worried about you,” my mother answered. “Very soon, you’ll have final exams, and you’re not studying for them at all. My little boy, my little woe…”

“Mommy, my dear mommy! I will no longer be your little woe!”

She bent down and kissed me. She also rarely did it, probably because I… well, it’s pretty clear as to why.

My mother kissed me again, sighed, and went back into the kitchen. She left behind a delicious smell of chicken soup. As she was leaving, she turned on the radio and I heard:

“We were joined on this broadcast today by Zoya Fillipovna Krasnova, a teacher at the twelfth secondary school, and Katya Goodall, a student at the same school. We now wish our listeners farewell.”

What? No, this can’t be! Was it possible that just during the time of the radio broadcast I was able to visit the Land of Unlearned Lessons? So that’s why my mother did not notice anything strange!

I looked in my agenda book and read over the assignments that were due tomorrow. I quickly corrected the problem with the construction workers, correctly solved the problem with the tailor.

Lucy Karandashkina popped into the window again, sporting a loose pigtail. I didn’t want to tell her about my journey at first, but I couldn’t resist. I told her everything. Of course, she didn’t believe me, for which I was very angry with her.

The next day, we had a class meeting. Zoya Fillipovna asked those children with bad grades to tell her what prevents them from studying well. Everyone came up with some excuse. When my turn rolled around, I bluntly said that no one was preventing me from studying.

Rather, only one person disrupted my studies. And that person was me. But I promised to fight bad habits. All of the guys in the class were surprised at what I said, because I had never made such a promise before. Zoya Fillipovna asked me what made me think of this.

I was silent. Finally, Lucy screamed out:

“I know! I know! It’s because he visited the Land of Unlearned Lessons!”

All of the students in the class were really puzzled and they asked me to talk about my journey. I refused. Who would believe me, anyway? But everyone in the class promised to believe me, if the story would be interesting enough. I asked those who weren’t interested in the story or were hungry, to leave, as I would likely talk for a very long time. Of course, everyone wanted to eat, but everyone was very interested in the story, so everyone stayed. I started my story from the very beginning. From the day when I received five Fs. Everyone sat in absolute silence and listened to me.

As I continued my story, I kept glancing at Zoya Fillipovna. I was very worried that at some point, she would stop me and say: “Enough, Perestukin. Instead of inventing tall tales, you should focus on your work.” But the teacher was also silent and listened attentively. Everyone kept listening to my story. Sometimes they would laugh, especially when I talked about Kuzya’s stories, sometimes they worried and frowned, and sometimes, they just looked at each other with amazement. I had already finished my story and they were still staring at me and expecting more.

“That’s it! I knew you wouldn’t believe me.”

All at once, everyone told me that even if I came up with this story, it was so interesting that you could almost believe it.

“Do you, Zoya Fillipovna, believe my story?” I asked the teacher and looked her straight in the eye. If I came up with it, would I dare ask her like that?

Zoya Fillipovna smiled and stroked my head. Her reaction was absolutely amazing.

“I believe. I believe that you, Vitya, will study well.”

And it was true. I started to form better study habits. Even Katya told me that I was improving and Zhenchik confirmed what she had said. But Lucy still gets Fs once in a while and walks around with a loose braid.

In the end, I passed my final exams and moved on to fifth grade. It’s true that I sometimes want to talk to my cat, to recall what happened to us during our trip to the Land of Unlearned Lessons. But he remains silent. I even started loving him a little bit less. Recently, I told him: “Well, Kuzya, whether you like it or not, but I am still going to get a dog. A German shepherd!”

Kuzya just snorted and turned away from me.