What is inclusion?

Let’s start with the definition; inclusion is the action or state of including or being included within a group or structure.

The definition is clear enough, but when I seek to think of an example of when I’ve felt included as an individual, I struggle to describe it. The closest I came was when I made the varsity soccer team in high school. I worked hard at becoming a better athlete, and when the coach picked me, I felt wanted.

I had yet to understand that my coaches were not my peers and that coaches’ acceptance did not guarantee my teammates’ acceptance. I was the only black person on the team, and it really felt that way. I was more of an ornament on the team rather than a part of it. I did not drink, did not party, and had serious ambitions of playing at a professional level. My peers didn’t think it was possible and treated me as such, mocking me to my face and behind my back. Coaches validated my talents, but I was not included in the team even though I was on it.

You’ve probably noted that in my example of inclusion, there was also an example of exclusion.

Interestingly enough, we have no trouble at all in defining when we’ve been excluded. That’s because it hurts. My experience with the soccer team scarred me. It drove me to work harder and harder so that I’d never experience social rejection because I would be too good to be excluded. I’d make everyone like me because I made the team win, and everyone loves a winner, right? Incidentally, the pain, or rather the fear of more pain, made me a much better soccer player, but the root cause of my improvement was based on fear of exclusion.

Inclusion is when you are not just selected but accepted.