Six Reasons Not to Commit Suicide.
With alternative suggestions.
I began writing this piece years ago. I was inspired to write it based on my own experiences with suicide ideations and those around me who went through suicidal depressions as well. As we navigate through a new normal, I hope anyone who is struggling will read this and find renewed hope.
I believe that no matter how bad things are, there is always hope.
Life is worth fighting for until our very last breath.
Blessed Be.
Do not kill yourself because you feel there is no hope or to fix your problems.
When we face enormous problems in life, we may think if we commit suicide the problems will go away. However, suicide does not erase what someone is going through and can often leave the aftermath that the surviving family and friends must endure. I once knew a man that was so troubled financially he believed the best option for his family was to hang himself so they could benefit from his life insurance policy. He survived his attempt, however, and as a result, his family are now worse off financially as they had to pay for his stay in a mental health facility.
Often people at this point feel there is no reason for living. Whether it is a terminal illness, catastrophic event, or tragedy, they believe whatever they were hoping for is completely gone.
Earlier this year, there was the tragic story of a young 20-year-old man who killed himself because it appeared his Robinhood investment account had a large negative balance. It felt a little reminiscent to me of the suicides in the stock crash of 1929, which led to people jumping out of their windows in New York City. As for the young man, Alexander Kearns, he killed himself over $730,000 that he believed he owed to Robinhood. It turned out these figures were some sort of technical error as he did not owe the app any money.
We can all feel hopeless at times but we should avoid panicking and making an impulsive permanent decision when help might be just around the corner. Never be afraid to reach out and ask for help.
DO NOT DO IT BECAUSE YOU HATE YOUR JOB (Read that again).
A common occurrence I have noticed is job dissatisfaction can lead to suicidal thoughts. Hating the place you work for and/or the type of work you are doing does NOT have to mean your life is over. You are not bound by the place you work at, theoretically. We all want to make money, but you also have the right to be happy.
Your life is more than suffering for a paycheck.
If you are unhappy, it is okay to leave. Most jobs suck at some point, so are there ways you can make it better? What are the ways you can get around the sucky parts? Would a different position be more suitable? Analyze the circumstance entirely and see if there is any way to rectify where you are if possible. Also, getting opinions from others who know you in this instance could help. They may have suggestions on what alternate options there are, such as talking to a career counselor, going to a trade school or college for a new skill or degree.
Also, consider relocating to where other opportunities may be or trying to promote to a different position where you’re already at. There are so many options that staying in an unsatisfactory situation and then possibly killing yourself over it is such a waste of your life. Even if you feel pressure from your immediate family, such as supporting several children, etc., YOU DO DESERVE HAPPINESS AND FULFILLMENT YOURSELF. You are not a drone or a slave. Find the courage to make a change or cope better with where you are at.
Last year 35-year-old nurse in the UK, Leona Goddard, killed herself due to her dissatisfaction with her job. Those that knew her stated she was unhappy working 12-hour shifts and felt it was hindering her from having a personal life. Despite taking anti-depressants, she continued to have nightmares about her place of work. Though she was cherished at work, she hated being there and died in her family home. My wish for someone in her circumstance is to make a list of alternate career options. With her skill as a seasoned nurse, there are many other jobs she could have investigated. Also, depending on your employer, it may be possible to take a medical leave from your work even if the medical is mental health-based.
Do not kill yourself because someone you loved died.
Bereavements are hell. They are incredibly sad things to go through, but regardless of what your spiritual beliefs are death is a natural part of life. The ending of one’s life does not have to correlate to the end of another. I once worked as a 911 operator, and during our training, we listened to many distressed call recordings so we could get a feel for the job. The first and most memorable call we heard was that of a family of three who had an accidental shooting. A young boy accidentally shot and killed himself with his parent’s gun, then sadly, the father was so distraught that he killed himself in front of his wife. The wife went into hysterical crying by the time the police arrived. The pain she endured that day sounded like a complete nightmare. To backtrack, when the boy killed himself, it’s true any loving parent would be overwhelmed with sadness and possible guilt but is killing yourself the best answer? Terrible as this incident was, what did that father killing himself on purpose accomplish? The boy died by accident, but the father then chose to die, leaving his already traumatized wife even more devastated.
When we lose a family member or a friend, no matter how shocked we are its never going to be easy, but we have to come to terms with acceptance. Choosing to follow them to death is not going to change the fact that they died, and it may leave the people behind in even more turmoil. I have found grief counseling and support groups to be useful alternatives. Of course, it is still a painful road to recovery, but you can do so in honor of the person your grieving. Dedicate your life to them, not your death.
Do not kill yourself because someone told you to do so.
People can be cruel, and it’s a sad fact of life. Telling one they should kill themselves or that you hope they die can be painful to hear. A person who is encouraging you to do this is seriously damaged and may also be suicidal as well. There has been a trend of stories published in the media in the past few years of scorned lovers or friends encouraging suicide. In 2019 Inyoung You, a 21-year-old Korean college student encouraged her boyfriend of 18 months to kill himself, and he did. She sent a long series of text messages over several months telling him to take his life. He was about to graduate with his bachelor’s degree however, he gave into her emotional abuse. She was also found to have mental health issues, and she was charged with manslaughter. If someone in your life is even hinting that you should end your life, this is a person you need to get away from. It does not matter who the individual is if they are hoping for your death, then they are a threat to your general wellbeing. Find an outlet to help you get away from the individual. Death is not a joke, nor is it something to be cavalier about. No matter how the message is being delivered, even if just by a text message, the relationship needs to be completely severed.
Do not kill yourself to prove a point!
We have seen it in movies and some of us in real life. Someone is standing on a ledge or has a gun in their mouth and is making a big scene threatening suicide but directed at other people. Whether an ex-lover or coworker, someone is trying to prove a point, win an argument, or cause general disruption. However serious an individual is about committing the act we have to believe that our lives are worth more than making a point to someone. If you are protesting or standing in front of a group, and you think committing suicide will make a lasting impact you’re mistaken. The lasting impression that you gave will not change their opinion of you.
For example, a disgruntled coworker who was fired comes back and kills himself in the employee parking lot. That is not going to make the administration that fired him any less regretful for doing so. I once worked at a place where that happened, and all the department did was call the police and let them handle it. If there’s any chance you want your life to mean something than throwing it away under this assumption will not accomplish anything. Instead, prove your point by achieving a new form of success in your life. Whether it be a new hobby, job, career, relationship, or new friends I have always believed success is the best revenge for any circumstance. By success, I do not mean you have to become a millionaire. Sometimes just not giving up when others did not believe in you or give you a chance is enough!
Do not kill yourself because you think there is something wrong with you.
Everyone handles despair differently. Some people may bury themselves in their work, some pursue a complete life renovation, and some do go into a depressive mental state. However, while you are handling your despair, you should know that nothing is wrong with you. People who are suicidal often feel that not only do they not want to live anymore, but the fact that they cannot find the will to live means they are defective in some way. If an event happens and everyone else is fine, but you are not able to cope, that does not mean you are misguided or damaged. Find nonjudgmental environments where you can freely express how you feel without controversy or ridicule. Throughout my own life, there have been times I have been criticized for my feelings and then criticized for not feeling enough. If we compare our coping with what other people are doing or feeling, we will always come up inadequate by some standard. Finding an objective environment to talk about what you are going through is a great way to combat and concerns about judgment. It’s okay to not be okay.
If you feel suicidal or know someone who does here are some resources you can pursue. I wish you the best.
DISCLAIMER
If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself, or are concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting himself or herself, PLEASE REACH OUT FOR HELP.
The information in this article is my contribution and is intended to help users learn about suicide and suicide prevention. It is provided for informational and should NOT be used as a substitute for medical advice, counseling, or other health-related services or as a replacement for the services of a trained medical or mental health professional.
Wishing you well on your journey to positivity and a life of opportunity, growth and happiness
Chrissy
