Unfortunately we’re all daughters of a nation that only wants fearless daughters in homes outside of theirs.
I understand now why my mother said “I don’t mind the photos you upload… they’re nice… just don’t write the things you write. Why do you want to go against people?”… And why my ex boyfriend always said “I agree with what you write, it’s great… but what’s the need to put up such photos?”… and then there’s you, oh so many of you, who say “women empowerment is fine, but how could you possibly be so disgusting and shameless!”…
I understand now — that I have no right to my own freedom of speech, or to try and figure out what defines me. I understand stuck in a tug of war between society, family & love, that I was silly enough to wonder why my breasts are such a threat to society. You’ll drop all your conversations on India Pakistan & the nuclear bomb just to come & tell me I’m ruining your cultural values, along with which you’ll casually throw in “get a breast enlargement surgery”… because culture only works in your favor. You’ll see a half naked photo & claim that “the slut is doing it for publicity” but the people that engage in giving it to her are all well respected, educated beings.
I understand now that we live in a country full of people who adore shirtless men with biceps and abs in a generation where shirtless gym selfies are what turn you into fitness role models but dare a girl talk about desexualizing her body, you’ll shut her up with a bikini and some whore remarks. Porn star it seems, yes, why stop at that? Why not make her a prostitute too? After all they have much in common. You love a good orgasm out of it but will die before you give them the respect they deserve. And no, #NotAllMen — because they’re being raised by us women after all.
I understand that “Woman empowerment isn’t about freeing your boobs! It’s about education & equal rights”… but surely if we’ve gotten far enough to fight for equal rights we must be comfortable in our bodies? Surely, the 16 year old girls wanting to become doctors & engineers aren’t worried about their rapidly growing breasts & how many men lech at them? That’s right, give her a salwaar kameez, that’ll solve the problem. Culture solves all our problems, except for domestic rape — that’s not a topic worth discussing because we don’t wash our dirty laundry in public. We wash away her blood stains with her desire to live and then teach her what it means to be a ‘real woman’. The lesser she exposes, the more respected she’ll be. Which is why, days after we killed the men that raped India’s Daughter, we discovered there wasn’t just one of her. No, you may call her ‘fearless’ with pride but I guess it’s time you realize that we’re all, unfortunately, daughters of a nation that only wants fearless daughters in homes outside of their own. We take part in candle marches for someone else’s daughter and yet we cage our own.
Nirbhaya. Haryanas Nirbhaya. Delhis Nirbhaya. Mumbais Nirbhaya. You say it with so much pride, but what once felt like a salute to her now feels like a slap in my face. I understand, it’s my fault. It’s our fault for being born into a body with breasts & a vagina — both of which solely accordingly to you exist for pleasure. Your pleasure, my shame?
I understand, that you’re going to go to the furthest of your powers to take away her rights because you’re petrified of her strengths — but this isn’t the end, this is just the beginning. And it breaks my heart to see that a lot more daughters in every corner of our country are going to end up ‘fearless’ if you don’t understand this too.
Saloni Chopra
