7 Better Alternatives to ‘How Are You?’ for the Time of Covid-19
Better conversation openers to spur more meaningful conversations and genuine connection
By Jessica Stillman
‘How are you?’ was never a great question to kick off a meeting or conversation. As author and Wharton School professor Adam Grant pointed out on Twitter “‘How are you?’ rarely starts a meaningful conversation. It prompts us to summarize our emotions instead of sharing the stories and insights behind them.”
It’s an even worse opener during the current crisis. As psychologist Jane Dutton explained on the TED Ideas blog, the question falls particularly flat on Zoom. “People are pretty tired of the same old ‘How are you doing?’ question,” she observes.
And if someone is actually suffering at the moment (as so many of us, unfortunately, are) the casualness of the question suggests you don’t really want to know how they are, forcing the other party to perform fake cheerfulness. Psychologists say this sort of “ toxic positivity” has real mental health costs.
So what are some better alternatives to ‘How are you?’ for the Covid era? Dunne, Grant and others have suggestions:
