It’s Not You, House Hunters, It’s Me
Don’t call me, HGTV, I’ll call you.
There are many reasons why I’ll never be seen on “House Hunters”. The main reason, to be sure, is that I’m not looking for a new home at the moment. But if I were, they’d take one look at our current digs and write us off as the lost cause to beat all lost causes.
I’m happy in my little cabin on the shore–the one with the outdated kitchen, real knotty pine paneling on several conspicuous walls, and honest-to-goodness linoleum on the floors. There is no automatic dishwasher (I almost said there is no dishwasher until I remembered I live here) or garbage disposal (That would be my husband, who is also in charge of recycling, burning papers, and keeping the compost heap at full capacity for the deer).
There are two bedrooms, one with a small sleeping loft. There is another bedroom (i.e., a room with beds) and a small sitting room in what we laughingly call “The Penthouse” above the detached garage.
There is only one bathroom. There is a shower, but no room for a tub. The septic tank threatens to vomit its guts out whenever there are too many people around. We have to remember to tell them they can’t flush every time.
So since I seem to be pretty content with a home nobody on “House Hunters” would want, you might be wondering…
