What Grief Gives

The Gifts amid the Loss

Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash

Grief has taught me to find the gifts amid the loss. I am not saying that it’s always (or ever) a fair trade, but loss does not leave a pure void. Things do grow in a desert. What grief gives takes time to appreciate, but the gifts are there. I learned this with each loved one I buried — my mother, both grandmothers, a grandfather, and an uncle. And it didn’t matter if the loss was expected or attacked without warning. After a time, perhaps a great deal of time, I was able to find joy again and see that there were things I’d gained through my season of mourning that may not have come any other way.

Losing my mother — unexpectedly, and from too far away to get to the hospital before she was declared dead — gave me more compassion. I don’t have to imagine the depth of despair experienced by friends living in the wake of the death of a loved one — I’ve been there. Losing my mother also forced me to mine my own heart and mind and test the resilience of my faith. I couldn’t live in the great overflow of hers anymore. I had to solidify my own.

Now, with all that is sad and frightening — with the worldwide death toll rising like a reverse avalanche and the worry that someone near and dear to me might get caught up in it, this isn’t the first difficult season of my life. I have already survived a storm. The ground beneath my feet…