Age is just a number
The difference in age has not stopped Tony and Dan forming a solid bonding, connecting over cooking, technology and staying active. They’ve proved that age doesn’t matter when it comes to friendship.
Dan says, “It meant a lot to me when I met Tony for the first time. It was just after restrictions ended and we’d been talking on the phone for months. When I saw him standing outside the pub, it was one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen. It was quite a special occasion for him. He was really nicely dressed in a suit and a tie, and his hair was combed back. It was lovely, a really nice occasion.
I look forward to my calls with Tony and enjoy the conversations. We’ve been talking for about 15 months now and it’s a friendship.
The age difference makes it more interesting. I enjoy hearing about things I’ve no clue about, and he has a lifetime of experiences. We’re both big foodies and we talk a lot about food.
I’d recommend that other people volunteer as a befriender for Independent Age. It isn’t a large amount of time out of my life and not too difficult to fit in.
I work in banking. When I’m walking home from the office, or along the towpath, I can just pick up the phone to give Tony a call. I like getting out and being active.
He says he enjoys a chat and having somebody to talk to. I like helping people. It’s rewarding to know that I’m making a positive difference to Tony’s life. It’s a good feeling.”
Tony says, “I’m usually in the lounge when I chat to young Dan, my opposite number in London. Sometimes he’s walking along a canal towpath at the time. His working day in spent indoors and he likes to get some fresh air.
Dan is 30, and his job is in the business world. I’m 83, divorced and living alone. There’s more than 50 years between us, and that’s a lifetime. But age shouldn’t matter when it comes to friendship. We enjoy talking to each other and get on well. Chatting to Dan cheers up my day.
I used to very active and that always kept me fit and healthy. During my army career I went to Borneo, Hong Kong, Cyprus, Norway and Sweden. I enjoyed the travelling and the comradeship. Then I went on to become a caretaker and a school bus driver and worked until I was 70. I thoroughly enjoyed my life. Cycling was always my passion. I started at the age of 11, I raced for the army cycling team, and cycled around 10,000 miles a year.
Life changed after I retired, and my health began to deteriorate. In 2006 I was planning a cycling trip from Lands End to John O’ Groats when I was diagnosed with cancer, and that really set me back. Since then, I’ve had 11 operations. I also have arthritis; I have pain in my joints and that restricts my walking. I use a walking stick and walk when I can.
Three years ago, I gave up cycling. I lost my balance and fell off the bike twice and that’s when I decided it was time to stop.
Now I live a quiet life on a park home estate.
Dan and I started chatting on the telephone at the start of the pandemic, when I wasn’t able to get out. As time went on, we got to know a bit more about each other. We’d been talking for months when we first met, at a pub about five miles from where I live in Dorset. We had a meal there and a chat outside. It was lovely to have his company and to meet him after we’d been talking for so long.
We chat every week now, usually for an hour on a Tuesday evening. It’s a nice change and I look forward to it. We have some interesting talks, and we chat about everything and anything.
I’ve been able to answer his questions about the earlier part of my life before he was born. We talk about where I’ve been, the people I’ve met and the things I’ve done. We learn from each other.
Dan and I have discovered we both have an interest in cooking. My hands are painful with arthritis and that’s restricted my cooking, but I do what I can. If I haven’t heard of an ingredient in a recipe, he’ll tell me what it is. He also looks up recipes for me on the internet. I have a recipe book in my kitchen that came out in 1946. And I sent Dan a recipe book. It’s a good combination of the old and the new.
I think it’s very important for older people to have someone to talk to. Talking to Dan has been a valuable experience and it has worked out well.
Time flies by when I’m chatting to him, it goes so fast it’s unbelievable. Dan has become a friend. I admire him for volunteering, and I enjoy talking to him very much.
Find out how you can get involved with Independent Age here.
