Age is just a number when it comes to real friendships
As part of our BBC Lifeline Appeal, we spoke to Denis and Luke about how their friendship started as a volunteering match with Independent Age.
Luke was in his final year at Nottingham Trent University studying psychology when he decided to volunteer for Independent Age. Having worked as a supermarket delivery driver during part of the pandemic, he saw first-hand the isolation and difficulties that lots of older people were experiencing.
As part of his role as a community services volunteer, Luke was eager to start offering support to those in later life who remained anxious about COVID-19 and help rebuild their confidence.
In October, he was paired with Denis, a retired journalist who lives by himself.
While still contributing to the same local paper he’s worked for from the age of 16, Denis was finding things on his own difficult. “I’ve lived on my own for 15 years since my mum died,” he tells us. “There used to be five people and a dog in this house, now there is just me. You can’t avoid loneliness when you live on your own.”
Keen to stay active, Denis was looking for something to help him make a change: “Life can seem like a vacuum, you drift from one day to another and it can be quite frightening,” he says. “I need a focus, otherwise life can seem quite meaningless.”
Luke and Denis started their friendship with weekly phone calls before progressing to meeting up in person. “Being introduced to Luke was great,” explains Denis. “It gave me a big, big boost and would be the highlight of my week.”
The pair met up regularly for different activities and outings, building Denis’s confidence in the process. Even now that Luke has moved to London, they continue their friendship over the phone with regular calls and banter about their football teams.
“He is 60 years younger than me which I thought could be a problem at first, but he makes me feel young again”
While Denis is “grateful” for being introduced to Luke, Luke says he’s “gained so much from my experience of meeting Denis”.
“It’s given me a real insight into how life can be for a lonely older person and how simple changes can make a difference.”
While the two were partnered through Independent Age’s volunteering scheme, they have continued their friendship with Luke attending Denis’s birthday party this year. “[He] gave me a gift of a pen — which is great for a journalist!” says Denis.
For Denis, this experience has “made a difference” and been a massive boost to his confidence: “It’s encouraging to know you’ve not been forgotten or overlooked just because you’ve got older.”
“It can be easy to think no-one cares anymore,” he explains. “It’s hard to imagine life if Independent Age hadn’t reached out to me. They have been a lifeline to me and I’m very grateful for them.”
Luke and Denis shared their story as part of our BBC Lifeline Appeal which you can learn more about here.
For the occasion, Denis wrote a poem about his experiences:
Thank you to the BBC.
Due to you we are to see
Presently on our TV,
Making them then all the rage,
Our own Independent Age.
Thanks to them I can still thrive,
Even now I’m 85,
They’ve made me glad to be alive.
Investigate and you will find,
They gave me lunch at Monty Hind.
I’m like a VIP, a duke,
Thanks to their intent, no fluke,
Having set me up with Luke
As a friend he is a star,
Though a fan of QPR.
He deserves 10 out of 10.
My birthday bash was that time when
He kindly gave to me this pen.
With inspiration just bestowed,
I used that pen to write this ode.
If you are interested in joining our volunteering team, you can find out about our different opportunities here.
If you’re experiencing loneliness or isolation, you can ring our free Helpline for further support on 0800 319 6789.
