Are you offended? Get in line.

I have a friend who runs a mattress shop. In early 2000s, almost every evening, I would hang out at his shop with a few friends and discuss everything under the sun. A variety of customers would visit the store and my friend would deal with each one of them differently. Among the visitors, was a heavy, tall man in his mid-forties who turned up every evening. He wore thick glasses. He was a financier. The kind that would lend out a chunk of money to small or medium business owners and collect small sums every day, until the chunk is paid back with interest. It’s called daily finance, in Hyderabad. There was something very unique about him. Although he was the one who was owed, there were customers who would treat him like trash. There was a mirchi bajji stall in front of my friend’s shop who was also the financier’s customer. I have heard, on several occasion, the mirchi bajji seller abuse the financier in the filthiest of ways possible. He would involve the lender’s mother, sister, wife, family, caste and what not, while he dished out choicest of abuses. But the financier never flinched. I was never sure of what the disagreement was, but it happened many times. The guy who who is supposed to be paid, was getting abused.

Similarly, even my friend didn’t give a damn about his age or stature. Even he would disrespect him often. Then there was a nearby shop, a bigger business who would also indulge. They were all his customers, but he got abused day in and day out. And everyone knew they had to go back to him in a few days for a fresh loan. Still, they treated him like a trash can.

Many days later, I asked my friend, the bedmaker, why does everyone treat him like that? He said, ‘Because he doesn’t mind.’

I was stunned. ‘As long as he’s being paid what he is owed everyday, he doesn’t care. He has a thick skin. But if you miss a payment, then he’ll show you hell,’ he said.

***

Now, fast-forward to 2017. All of us are online most of the time, drowning in content that’s hardly relevant. There is more news than there is food supply. People who can’t tell Groucho Marx from Karl Marx are fighting ideological wars on Facebook, trying to assert their non-existent intellectual superiority. The lines are clearly drawn. Everyone is on the edge, ready to outrage on anything and everything. And not to mention, among them, are the ones who’re trying to be funny. There’s room for everyone at the outrage theater we’ve bought ourselves the front row seats to. And then there’s WhatsApp — the backstage pass to bullshit.

How the fuck did we end up here? That’s for another day. But there’s something that needs to be seriously examined — our tendency to get offended easily.

I remember a NZ TV host making mockery of then Delhi CM Sheila Dikshit’s name. There was outrage. The host had to resign. And that was 2010. Social Media outrage industry was in the nascent stages in India. If the incident had occurred today, there would be a section asking for declaration of war against New Zealand, but then, Sheila Dikshit is from Congress, so probably not.

Last week, a CNN host just mentioned ‘Sanskrit’ in something she said to the winner of Spelling Bee who as usual was an Indian. Ad clicking factories masquerading as news outlets, stupidity-powered Facebook communities and ready-to-get-offended-social-media-warriors had a field day. I saw the video. The journalist didn’t attack Sanskrit or India or anyone directly. She just tried to mix up two things — Trump’s ‘covfefe’ tweet and spelling-bee-winner-Indian-stereotyping which failed. End of story. Also, when has anyone ever accused news hosts of being brilliant anyway?

Few days ago, there was something about Amazon Canada. Then there was something the Snapchat CEO said. There were many such incidents if we skim through news archives.

Have we, as a country, made ‘getting offended’ a popular sport? The answer is yes. And that’s exactly the problem. Parties external to and antagonistic toward India are aware of this development are having a ball watching us excel at our new found national passion or wallow in our own mire — depends on how you look at it.

We need to take a leaf from the daily financier’s page. He didn’t care what people said as long as they paid him. I think it’s time we take a general position. A position called IDGAF UYHMB: “I don’t give a fuck unless you hurt my business.”

It’s time to stop feeling insulted. Insults are overrated. Lowered/well managed egos and diminished sense of entitlement are the need of the hour. It’s time to stop getting hurt in the sentiments. It’s time to turn up our chill factor. Unless the impact is economical, or real, it’s time to turn a deaf ear.

It’s time to focus on work and achievement. Block out things, people, channels, any other objects you don’t like and get on with your life.

Taking offense and the subsequent outrage causes productivity outage. There are forces trying to distract us and we’re playing right into their hands by reacting.

Winston Churchill said, ‘ ‘You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.’

So, are you offended? Get in line — but remember, it leads to the sea of unaccomplishment.

• Deepak Karamungikar