A Valuable Book Can Make You a New Person

How the Book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” Has Changed Me

I read this book for the first time when I was 17 years old.

I wasn’t ready for it. In hindsight, the only thing that seemed to penetrate my thick skull was the lesson about your circle of influence. Not long after reading “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” I quit all personal development attempts for about 16 years, but for that whole period, I never fumed about politics or had much interest in the lives of celebrities.

I didn’t do the best job of focusing only on what I could influence, but I didn’t also repeat the mistake of masses who chase gossip and tragedies from the other side of the world.

By the way, the “habits” described in the book are not really habits. They are more like mindsets and attitudes. Covey very rarely pointed out a specific daily behavior you should develop to achieve mastery in a particular area. So, it is not so easy to analyze and pinpoint how the book affected me.

I read “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” the next time in October 2012.

Habit #1, Be Proactive

I had some troubles with wrapping my mind over the concept of being proactive. For too long, I played a victim and had a victim mentality. But I was already proactive after the lecture of The Slight Edge, and appreciated the importance of daily actions in areas I wanted to progress.

The lesson about the Circle of Influence was a good reminder.

Well, I became more proactive, that’s for sure. I started a new career. I worked on developing my current career. I fixed our family finances and my health. I just cannot connect my new attitude to a specific aha moment from the book.

Habit #3, Put First Things First

I still suck at it. I simply have too many obligations and too many areas of focus. Wife, three kids, a day job, a writing career, a church community and a multitude of life’s trivia (paying bills on time, maintaining cars and household articles, trips, sickness and so on) ensures that focus is a rare commodity in my life.

But I definitely got better. My results are proof of that. I wrote over one million words and published a big chunk of them. I started new projects. I worked on my side hustle instead of playing computer games or watching YouTube videos and developed it to the point where my wife could quit her day job.

I even wrote a bestselling book about time management and became a personal productivity coach.

But again, apart from the basic lesson (focus on important, not urgent), I cannot put my finger on any specific lesson from the book that helped me with this all.

Habit #4, Think Win-Win

I remember that this part was eye-opening for me. Unfortunately, I wasn’t in a position to immediately apply it. However, out of habits 4–6 from “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” which I consider “leadership habits,” this habit was the one that I had opportunities to practice the most.

I took part in many collaboration projects since then: co-promoting books of other authors, organizing and participating in book events, contributing to books of my friends, or recently, helping some people with Amazon advertising campaigns.

A win-win approach was also very effective in my networking efforts. Some amazing folks, including a few millionaires, got to know me and helped me out, because I was thinking and acting win-win when I started and cultivated relationships with them.

Habit #5, Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
Habit #6, Synergize

I didn’t take away much, nor implemented, from habits #5 and #6. Now, when I’ve become a leader of a small tribe, maybe I should go back to those parts of the book and reconsider how I could apply them in my life.

Habit #7, Sharpen the Saw

I didn’t need Covey’s preaching in that regard. I was firmly convinced about how small daily disciplines are important for one’s well-being. I also clearly understood that aiming for sustainability was the only reasonable way to go. I already had most of the habits the author recommended: daily exercises, prayer, and reading.

Again, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” only reinforced what I knew and was practicing.

Habit #2, Begin with the End in Mind

I’m sure you’ve noticed that I omitted this one. It’s because this is the part of the book that really changed me.

To create a personal mission statement, you need to define (Victor Frankl said ‘detect’) your mission first.

Even the concept that I have a mission was bizarre for me. That led me to study my Church’s documents, which teachings I found totally congruent with this idea.

So, I wrote my PMS and started using it.

I wrote a grand piece of statement. What amazes me to no end is that it actually works. I am slowly becoming the person I wanted to be.

Like becoming a writer. This dream was not possible. No experience, no appropriate education, no clue… But after 15 months since creating my personal mission statement, I changed one sentence in it from “I’m becoming a writer” into “I’m a writer.”

By the way, the first book I wrote was about creation of a personal mission statement, and it already sold over 3,500 copies.

Anyway, I attribute to my personal mission statement at least 50% of the changes that took place in myself and my life in the last 5 years.

Before I wrote it, I was determined to change my life, but had no clear vision how to do that or what the output would be.

I included 13 areas of my life in my personal mission statement. My life was a mess, and I wanted to fix it in its whole.

I will break them down for you showing how I improved.

1. Love.

I developed in love of God and of people. I pray a lot more than 5 years ago. I overcame my shyness in personal interactions (weirdly, I had no problem with public speaking, but was a total shrinking violet in one-on-one interactions).

2. Children.

I helped my son to improve his grades and taught him how to teach himself. I sustained a deep bond with my children. My resolve for this day is to spend at least an hour a week of quality time with each of them. So far, so good.

3. Wife.

In 2013, my wife read my first two books and said that my writing is nothing special. She insisted I should quit this writing hobby and look for a better job instead.

Today, she quit her day job because she is confident my writing brings enough income for our family. She wants to help me in my authorpreneurship adventure as well.

4. Gratitude.

I started three gratitude journals within 3 months since writing my personal mission statement. Nowadays, I spend about 10–15 minutes jotting my 25–50 entries in them. I became a gratitude fountain.

5. Failure.

I was deathly afraid of failure. This fear no longer paralyzes me. I’m not enthusiastic enough about my failures, but I accepted them as a part of my growth process.

When, in the beginning of 2013, Firepole Marketing rejected my post in the last possible moment (they had already accepted and edited it), I was mad at them.

When my paid article was rejected this week (and it was preemptively accepted as well; it was supposed to be just a matter of polishing the piece), I simply shrugged and thanked them for the feedback.

6. Achievement.

15 books published. Over 28,000 copies sold. Millions of views and thousands of followers. Dozens of coaching clients. Over 38,000 daily habits check-ins on Coach.me.

Yep, I achieved a thing or two.

7. Wealth.

I doubled my income, tripled my savings, quadrupled my savings ratio, and spent tens of thousands of dollars on items improving the lifestyle of our family (from small things like a Kindle Paperwhite, via bigger, like a second car, to huge, like purchasing our first house).

8. Giving.

I give away 5% of my side income (of which I had none five years ago).

9. Motivation.

My personal mission statement was my best motivation for a long period of time.

It’s still a huge motivator for me.

Then I started getting feedback from my readers and coaching clients. I don’t need any new sources of motivation anymore.

10. Mindfulness.

Various activities and disciplines made me more present where I am, right here and right now: while working, talking with my kids, writing, or appreciating nature.

I meditate every day. It’s just a few minutes, but it works.

I also pray much more than previously, and I spend quite a lot of time alone with my thoughts.

11. Self-Examination.

A lot of my mindfulness comes from this point. I journal 6 days a week for 10–15 minutes and review my entries on Sundays.

This is my main tool for gaining self-knowledge. It may seem ridiculously small, but the consistency of this practice (I missed just a few days since 26th of May 2013) ensured that I answered over a thousand questions about myself.

I also keep track of my activities in a few (several?) diaries/ logs.

Three times I kept a time journal for a period of two weeks. I jotted down every single activity I had been doing and how much time it took.

I keep an online progress journal where I write down my business activities. I also keep track of my sleep amount and fitness records there.

On 23rd of September, 2013 I started a writing log. I register my every writing session, their start and stop time, and word count.

I document my progress on my blog and in my income reports.

12. Language.

Because of my personal mission statement, I tried (without success) an experiment in 2013 — I wanted not to utter a word for the whole day. This experiment also improved my mindfulness and made me aware about my self-talk.

I slipped away with my speech patterns after quitting the experiment, but it has had some lasting consequences. For example, I limited my foul language. I also got a whole set of mental tools I can use to get a grip over my words.

13. Persistence.

I persisted when my wife said my writing is ‘nothing special’ and I should ‘quit this hobby and get a better job’ in July 2013.

I persevered when my books sold 144 copies in the first five months and one week of my writing career.

I kept writing and publishing when my publisher nullified our contract and my book sales were declining at a rapid pace. The last happened at least several times, practically after each book launch.

I persisted when, in 2016, I needed to draw funds from my day job salary to keep my authorpreneurship alive. I spent more on training and producing new books/ new formats than I earned from royalties. No wonder; in August I sold only 111 Kindle copies, which was about 55% of my sales in January 2014 at the beginning of my career, when I had only four books published.

I keep about two dozen daily habits. My “stick ratio” is over 98%.

I learned a lot about perseverance.

I even wrote a book titled “The Art of Persistence.” It was published in April 2015 and is one of my most popular books.

As you can see, my personal mission statement revolutionized my life. It was more effective in changing myself than any affirmations, books, audio programs, or coaching I got.

The reason for that is simple — its message came from within. I didn’t need to get this message hammered into me. It was inside me all the time. My personal mission statement only helped me to articulate it and once I had it, it served me as a compass. It guided me not only in some huge decisions, but in everyday miniscule, seemingly unimportant actions: how I did my household chores, how and how much I prayed, how I talked with my kids or interacted with my wife.

This is the change in myself I attribute to “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.”