Alone & Lonely; A Comparison
I have always felt that Loneliness was a feeling, while being alone was a state of being. Maybe I am right, I’m not sure. The Just for Today book says, “There is a difference between being alone, and being lonely. Being lonely is a state of the heart. An emptiness that makes us feel sad, and sometimes hopeless.
Loneliness is not always alleviated when we enter into relationships, or surround ourselves with others.”
I think that is also saying that we can being very lonely, even when we are not alone. It is very possible to feel lonely, even when we are in huge crowd. My addiction it is a difficult and scary feeling to feel alone when surrounded by people. I have even felt that way when surrounded by a crowd of all my loved ones. Being alone, is itself, has more of a physical nature, or the physical setting.
When looking for a best cure for loneliness, I read that the “best cure is a relationship is to begin a relationship with a Higher Power.” Or, in my case, I just had to really renew a relationship.
I have had a Higher Power the whole time, or all of my life, however I had gone astray from my Higher Power. I feel the further I strayed, the worse, and non existent that relationship became.
On the other hand, Alone, and all the ways it is defined really doesn’t always seem to bother me. Sometimes being alone is actually necessary for certain reasons. For instance I prefer being alone when I’m working. Or perhaps when I’m just trying to relax, and let stress go.
That is not to say it is defined as the same as to Isolate. Isolating, is being alone, and wanting to be alone. However, there are another spectrum to isolating. It it the avoidance of something important. Removing of one’s self from something healthy, going into something unhealthy.
Isolating is being alone. However Isolating is not healthy. While being alone is not always unhealthy.
There are many in Sobriety, especially the early stages, where interacting with a lot of healthy people can give us a warm feeling. A feeling of satisfaction. I agree, even being alone at the beginning may not be the best of ideas. It really all depends on how solid you feel your Sobriety is. I think at the beginning, it is still at a very fragile state. Probably even shaking a bit at times. It is not necessarily something to be worried about. However, it is something to be extremely mindful of, and to keep a very close eye on. Any spiral downward, mentally, at any speed is an urgent matter that must be tended to immediately.
As time moves forward, you will start to steady and feel much better, and less anxious. Being alone will be a much easier environment to be in if you so feel. And if you know that it is okay, and safe for you. As usual to what many say, the cure for loneliness is a Higher Power. It has helped many fill an empty heart. It says in the Just for Today book;
“we can be alone more comfortably when we have a conscious contact with a God of our understanding.”
We no longer have to contend with loneliness. If we are comfortable in being alone at times, then being alone is fine.
By MICHAEL PATANELLA