An Explanation

A lot of you may think that when I write what I’m writing in this blog then it hurts my chances of being employed. Or it seems like I know nothing about what’s socially acceptable or that I am perhaps a psychotic.

There are many things that I’ve done my life that have been bad. There are many things that everyone has done that have been bad. I only want to talk about how I feel. I also write what I write in my blog because I want to acknowledge that all of us have done something unethical or immoral and I encourage people to judge others less. Even though I was never the school bully, or I never vandalized anyone’s home, or laughed when someone was being bullied, I’ve definitely hurt a lot of people in the same way that school bullies have done. I think that hurt feels almost the same for all of us. I also hope that when people read my writings, that they would choose to understand why people do bad things and, hopefully, my writings wouldn’t make people condemn anyone who does bad things even more. I’ve known a lot of people who don’t think twice about giving petty thieves harsh punishments. There was no looking into anyone’s background or story. It was just, you did a bad thing, then you are a bad person. I scoff at this perception. I don’t mean to give certain bad people chance after chance after chance but I do think that even people who do bad things deserve to be treated decently. They deserve to receive civil behavior and I don’t say this out of naivete, but I think that patience and compassion are extremely important.

I know that people still wonder why I’m willing to write things that make people feel uncomfortable. Even when I don’t say these things out loud, I’m writing this, so it looks like I don’t know how to act, I don’t know how to behave. It’s not like that. I’m a rational person. I do feel more than I rationalize. Do I want to change? Well, I only hope to enlighten people with my blog. I don’t ask for tears, for sympathy, for a hand on my shoulder. I am a real person who writes these real and raw words. My hands do get cold and they do become warm. I like to go out in the fresh air, I like to observe people to interesting things like drawing while someone is lecturing in a classroom, or men who sit in a chair on an icy pond, fishing. I find eating to be pleasurable, I particularly like sushi, curries, and sweets (but not in excess). I enjoy following the international news.

I don’t apologize for writing something so serious, for making some people squirm, for making some people react negatively to my words. This is what expressing yourself honestly is all about. To express yourself without restrictions is to stir any type of emotion in people, to do this is bound to move people. I can’t apologize for making people angry at me, or for shocking people. I write this as an invitation to come into my world. Anyone has a right to refuse this invitation. If there are some people who remain disgusted after reading one of my pieces, then that says a lot about them. How people really feel says a lot about them. Anyone is welcome to stay in my world. I like to believe that an open mind is an educated mind. There’s room for discussion on anything even when some topics seem very wrong, or seemingly common sense. There’s no fixed way that all of us are supposed to be.