As An Amends To Myself

I want the best that life has to offer because i’m fairly certain I’ve seen and experienced my fair share of the worst. It’s not that I feel the universe or society owes it to me for what I’ve been through,it’s that I know I owe it to myself for what I’ve put myself through. I give it everything I have today in hopes I can forgive myself for everyday I woke up and didn’t. For all the times I didn’t bother to put the work in but still had the audacity to wonder where my reward was.

Pray to God as often as you like,without action you might as well be throwing wishes at a sky that isn’t listening. It’s too busy assisting the people that got up after they prayed and went and actually did something, rather than just confusing their life with Aladdin’s. A belief in something greater shouldn’t exclude you from believing in yourself. If waiting on miracles is all you do,there is a very good chance that waiting on miracles is all you’ll ever do.

I have gotten to a place where I refuse to believe in limitation. I don’t set limits for myself today. I look at those others set for themselves, or perhaps even for me and I reach past them. I reach past them as an apology to myself for every time I settled. Settled for less than what i’m worth or what someone else decided I should have. For the conversations I knew were beneath me and the girl I didn’t even like. Settled because I didn’t know if I could do better or if I deserved better. For a tragically long time,it felt like I didn’t have a right to reach for better.

I do better today because I know better. I want the best life has to offer because I believe it’s all within reach and attainable. I have seen both sides and I choose this one. I proudly proclaimed myself a cynic for most of my life, until I realized that doubting and never believing in everything around you only leads to you eventually doubting and not believing in yourself as well.

The difference between positivity and negativity comes down to belief and choice. Belief is born out of reoccurring thoughts we have and feed. The thoughts we feed is where choice comes into play. Say no to thoughts and beliefs that don’t serve you,make better choices. I find pessimists to be as delusional as they find me. Perhaps we’re both delusional,at least i’m happy.