Bold and Timid Zebras
For any of you who had the slightest notion that I was a cool human being, I am so sorry but I’m about to rip that band-aid off in the nerdiest of fashions.
You see, I’m reading the most fascinating book right now. About what, you ask? And to that, I respond — while pushing up my glasses and getting so close to your face that you can see every leftover lunch particle in my braces — trails. All sorts of trails. Bacterial trails, termite trails, ungulate trails, wilderness trails, computer trails. ALL OF THE TRAILS. It’s called, predictably, On Trails, and was given to us by my incredible mother-in-law. I’m pretty sure she meant it to be a coffee table book, but what can I say, it’s a real page-turner.
I’m currently on a chapter about ungulates. If you don’t know what an ungulate is, it means, simply, a “hoofed animal”, although in a very strange turn of events, it seems that dolphins and whales also evolved from the ungulate family. See, I told you, exciting stuff right?!
But that’s not even close to the end of the excitement. So if you could, please lift your chin off the floor and follow me back over to the actual hoofed ungulates, and let’s zero in on the beautiful and striped ungulates we all know and love — Zebras. More specifically, a herd of Zebras from Botswana. They were collared by scientists who wanted to study their grazing patterns but, and here’s where it gets wild, they disappeared. Poof, gone. And when they did show up, they had travelled almost the entire span of the country! And if that doesn’t have you on the edge of your seat, even stranger still, these zebras had followed a trail that zebra herds used to follow but had been blocked off for the past 36 years. A zebras lifespan is only 12 years, so none of the zebras following the trail had ever followed or known about the trail previous. It’s nuts, right??? How did they know about the trail?!
Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer for you.* Because before I got to the answer, a seemingly throwaway sentence completely captivated my brain. It seems that though most zebras followed the trail to find better grass and a more pleasant existence, some stayed behind. The author, Robert Moor, explains the situation in this way: “Even among zebras, there are bold and timid individuals.”
Even among zebras, there are bold and timid individuals.
This sentence has been stuck in my brain since I read it. And I think it’s because the idea of bold and timid zebras is — and I am so sorry for such corny syntax — so very black and white.
You cannot be a zebra that has been talking about going to the other side of Botswana for 3 years but like, bills and rent and job and life have just gotten in the way, ya know?
You cannot be a zebra who gets tattoos and piercings so that other zebras think you are bold but actually just hide under your covers all day watching HBO documentaries.
You cannot be a zebra who is all talk and no walk.
You are either a bold zebra who risks the trail for the greener grass or you are a timid zebra that stays put and gets eaten by the lion you know. That’s it. You stay or you go.
And some of you are reading this and saying, “but Lacey, we aren’t zebras! We are human, there’s so much more nuance and I have to keep my health insurance.” And to that I say, yes, please keep your health insurance. But also no, it’s not more complicated. If you’re in a place where the grass is lush and the watering hole is full, then by all means stay and enjoy while you can. But there will be a time when the water dries up and there’s more dirt than grass around you. And just like those zebras you’ll have to decide, bold or timid. Stay or go. No nuance, just a choice.
And you get to choose whatever trail you want to take or not, but all I’m saying is I want to be a bold ass zebra.
*Okay, I read ahead because if it were me reading this I’d be pissed to have such a cliffhanger left unanswered. Turns out, they think elephants re-blazed the trail and the zebras followed, which further confirms my suspicion that elephants are the coolest fucking animals on the whole entire planet.
