Changing the #MeToo Story at Colleges
I’ve read a lot of the stories with the #MeToo hashtag. And I’m realizing a very common trend — the majority of these incidents hadn’t been or still haven’t been reported because of the shame or guilt that the victim felt. And a lot of the cases that were reported — people were really upset with how their case was handled.
I get it! I’ve been there. I am still upset over how my Title IX case was handled. I was sexually assaulted in my dorm room and the guy was only suspended for a semester! This is unacceptable.
But here’s the really amazing thing — policies change. Since my own university instated a new Title IX director (a couple months after my case), the expulsion rate for people found guilty of sexual assault at my college has been 100%. That’s incredible and extremely rare at universities across the country. This school really IS trying to keep us safe. Maybe it took them too long to get there, sure, but they’re TRYING. I thought I would be the last person to say this, but here it is: colleges DO want to help us.
So maybe it’s time we do our part. Maybe it’s time we step up and tell them what changes we want, and how we’d like to see them enacted. Maybe it’s time we take responsibility for not just our own actions, but if we’re comfortable and in a safe place to do so: let’s stop being bystanders. Let’s really follow the “If you see something, say something” policy. Let’s foster a community where we respect each other enough to look out for each other.
Universities WANT to listen to us! They WANT to make changes to make us more comfortable on this campus. Just last year, the Title IX office at my school worked with a student group to make an entirely new and easier to follow plan. They changed the way that sexual assault cases are dealt with ENTIRELY to make victims feel safer through the process.
I get it. I get why you wouldn’t want to report it. Victim blaming and shaming is rampant. Reporting is SO SCARY. It really is — I know this, I’ve been there in that back room being interviewed and revealing intimate moments that I so very much didn’t want to relive. But I have to say it: I’m honestly so scared reading the #MeToo stories from my school and reading that they didn’t report. Because people repeat their actions when they’re not punished. For all we know, half the stories could be written by different people, but perpetrated by the same person. It’s really, really scary.
We’re not going to see a change if we don’t strive for it ourselves. I LOVE what #MeToo has done to help people share their stories and how it’s given them a safe place to do so, but I want people to feel comfortable enough to then go share this story with someone that can help them so they’re not haunted by this for a very, very long time. And I really think universities want to make that possible too, even if it doesn’t seem that way all the time. I have trouble believing it too, but if we work against them, what’s that going to do? A fight, a rebellion — that’s not going to solve our problems here. A collaboration might.
What can WE do to help each other? What can WE as a community do to make colleges a safer, more respecting place for all of us?
